Published on 12, July, 2020
Just wondering what schools should be doing to keep children safe when it come to behavior. Yesterday, my daughter had an amazing day, but the last 2 lessons, after lunch, she had a few wobbles, she took her staff's radio and wouldn't give it back so they left her with it. And at the end of the day she took another staff's coffee. The staff attempted to get her to give it back but she wouldn't so they tried playing a game with it. They said, 'how about you hide it under the porter cabins and then she'll have to find it' but she wasn't falling for that trick. They wouldn't let her leave school to go to her taxi unless she gives them back, which I completely understand.
Then someone opened the gate and she ran into the car park, where her taxi was waiting. She then stood on the gate, talking to staff on the other side, and her staff tried pulling her down because then she tried to do a runner. It then turned into a mess, her being held, teachers injured, because she was kicking, punching, biting, all the common things she does and then she started head banging on the fence and on the floor and they got her weighted blanket and a pillow but my daughter chucked away the pillow and was head banging again. And two staff were sat next to and next thing, she's kicking off again so everyone has to move away. And there it was, my daughter lying on stones, weighted blanket half on half off, one shoe on, one shoe off, just head banging whilst the teachers are just looking. Why didn't they put the pillow under her head, or tried to comfort her. I know they had an order to back away because things could've turned ugly but now she has a headache and a bruised head.
I spoke to her last night and she told me that when she's in that situation, it physically hurts her body, it is painful and she wants the pain to go away, that's why she was stomping her feet, banging her head, and attacking staff, because her body was in pain, it always is in that situation. My heart just broke. But what can the school do go help? Leave her lying hurting herself more than she already was. Just stand and watch. Her taxi was also waiting to leave and her taxi driver was even nicer than the staff, making sure she was alright and checking in with her the whole journey home. He's lovely but the staff, I understand but I still don't
Yes that's all true. She chucked away the pillow and she's very aggressive when she's in one of those moods. Anyone near her is a target so to keep themselves safe I guess they couldn't do anything.
So did I and it's my own child.
Yes it is the same girl. She can be so sweet and lovely but the other side of her isn't. She has a warning on her criminal record already, last year, at 14. We've looked at other mental disorders, but they say she doesn't meet the criteria, we've looked at CD, ADHD, Bipolar, Psychosis and things like that. But today really showed how bad her behavior was, she's suspended until Monday, where they will come to the house for a chat and Tuesday she should be back in school. She went up and attacked staff, hitting them on the back of the head, biting, kicking, punching, pushing. But that was because she asked them to give her space and to be left alone, and they didn't and for an hour, she was just building up and then exploded on them. Attached 2 members of staff.
We've tried the rescue remedies, the ones where you can put it in a drink and also the gummy ones but there was no change and didn't really help at all. Thanks anyway.
Thanks, doctors are no help so I won't go there and we've tried CBD oil but had to stop it because she took too much of it. It didn't calm her down much either. And I don't know why she took the coffee. She doesnt even like it, lol. Thank you
I forgot to mention, the schools safeguarding officer should be in contact with you really and look at what they can offer to prevent and find ways of managing this because from a school standpoint they may need other services involved.
Hi There,
I can weigh in a slight bit on the safety of your child from a school standpoint, teachers have a very limited capacity to restrain or lay hands on a child and things have to be massively justifiable and proportionate, but at the same time consider their own safety, now in my own opinion, your child banging her head on the floor, as a staff member if it was me, I would have gone further with restraints for the head in a safe manner and ensured the pillow remained underneath, however as you mentioned your daughter threw away the pillow, there is very little they could do further, they tried their best to affect a safe restraint and to calm down, but their powers are the same as a standard person, the next step up sadly for the school is two options: 1) contact yourself and get you to come down or someone to bring you to assist in calming her down or 2) contact the police who have the power to get hands on, of which is not ideal.
from what you have described, the staff had attempted to do everything they lawfully can, but the risk to them became too great that they could not intervene further, as biting is very serious should the skin be penetrated it can cause infections and potentially HIV. (or HPV i cant remember which one)
I for like one day worked as security in a hospital on a ward with a dementia patient who got very aggressive to me and other patients and it resulted in a stand off, as i had no prior history i didn't know the threat the male posed to other patients, however the nurses made the decision to withdraw us as she felt he would be no risk to patients, as such 5 minutes later he was a completely different person being polite and kind, so sometimes the best option is to withdraw as horrible as it may feel
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia said:It puzzles me why she wanted to take another person's coffee and not return it.
I had the same reaction.
Is this the same girl who runs away and threatens people with knives? I've never come across any other examples of autistic child who do the things she does. If it is the same girl, then the more I read about her behaviour, the more it sounds as if she has another undiagnosed mental disorder such as Conduct Disorder (CD) which involved breaking serious rules, such as running away, staying out at night when told not to, or skipping school; being aggressive in a way that causes harm, lying, stealing, or damaging other people’s property on purpose. Children with CD show ongoing patterns of aggression toward others, and engage in serious violations of rules and social norms at home, in school, and with peers.
I’m sorry your daughter is having such a difficult time.
I take Bachs flower rescue remedy, this really helps my anxiety my stress and gives me an all over peace kind of feeling. Ive also tried bachs cherry plum which helps with anger, aggressive outbursts, frustrations. These remedies come in liquid dropper that drops 4 drops in your tongue or your can place the drops in some water. You can also get the rescue remedy in the form on a sweetie.
It puzzles me why she wanted to take another person's coffee and not return it. Does she like drinking coffee?
I have a coworker who suffers from fibromyalgia, and they have physical pain constantly throughout their body, but they take prescribed painkillers for that. Maybe you can speak with a doctor about your daughter's symptoms, to figure out what might be causing the physical pain in her body.
I've heard some people use CBD Oil and there's benefits to taking it, and I've heard that it has a calming effect, but I don't know too much about it otherwise, but it might be helpful for calming intense moods.
I forgot to say that I've heard of a child who bangs her head a lot uncontrollably, and her parents gave her CBD Oil or something along those lines, and she stopped her head banging and calmed down. I guess that's why I mentioned the CBD oil.