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Husband struggles to understand

north london mum

Hello everyone. I haven’t used this site for a long time but I need some advise please. We have an amazing little boy who is 9 and will be 10 in January he has autism and has some speech. Last night I was talking to my husband about Christmas presents and our son had pointed out two teddys that he wanted I mentioned this to my husband and out of the blue he said His nearly 10 time to stop the teddys and he needs start wiping himself after toileting. 
I was taken aback by it my husband has always been amazing and supportive yes I am trying to encourage our son to be independent with things however he still needs alot of help and still loves his teddys. 
I just don’t know where it came from and not sure how to approach this I know we all see our friends children doing things that we all thought our child would be able to do but life is not always how you expect it to be so I don’t know if hubby is feeling a little pain in seeing this. 
I would really appreciate some advise or if any of you have experienced this before as I said he is an amazing dad and husband and does anything for us but this came as a shock to me as he is not normally like this. 

Parents

  • Totally agree with the cuddly toy comments. Our son just loves anything cuddly and soft, and why not?

    With the wiping, I think he's right to feel it's time to progress that a little. Do you know why you son won't wipe? If it is fear of getting messy fingers, you can try practising after a bath or shower by putting a little sudocrem or other similar cream in the right area and then getting him to wipe. Eventually he will see that he doesn't get dirty fingers and will feel confident with the process. And/or you can scaffold his mastering this skill by doing all but the last bit. So, to start with you wipe until he's virtually clean and then he does the very last bit. Gradually withdraw support as and when he is feeling confident with where he is, until he's doing it all himself. It may take some time (it took 2 years for my son to go upstairs on his own but we did it!)

    Good luck, and maybe buy your hubby a teddy for Christmas ;)

Reply

  • Totally agree with the cuddly toy comments. Our son just loves anything cuddly and soft, and why not?

    With the wiping, I think he's right to feel it's time to progress that a little. Do you know why you son won't wipe? If it is fear of getting messy fingers, you can try practising after a bath or shower by putting a little sudocrem or other similar cream in the right area and then getting him to wipe. Eventually he will see that he doesn't get dirty fingers and will feel confident with the process. And/or you can scaffold his mastering this skill by doing all but the last bit. So, to start with you wipe until he's virtually clean and then he does the very last bit. Gradually withdraw support as and when he is feeling confident with where he is, until he's doing it all himself. It may take some time (it took 2 years for my son to go upstairs on his own but we did it!)

    Good luck, and maybe buy your hubby a teddy for Christmas ;)

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