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Husband struggles to understand

north london mum

Hello everyone. I haven’t used this site for a long time but I need some advise please. We have an amazing little boy who is 9 and will be 10 in January he has autism and has some speech. Last night I was talking to my husband about Christmas presents and our son had pointed out two teddys that he wanted I mentioned this to my husband and out of the blue he said His nearly 10 time to stop the teddys and he needs start wiping himself after toileting. 
I was taken aback by it my husband has always been amazing and supportive yes I am trying to encourage our son to be independent with things however he still needs alot of help and still loves his teddys. 
I just don’t know where it came from and not sure how to approach this I know we all see our friends children doing things that we all thought our child would be able to do but life is not always how you expect it to be so I don’t know if hubby is feeling a little pain in seeing this. 
I would really appreciate some advise or if any of you have experienced this before as I said he is an amazing dad and husband and does anything for us but this came as a shock to me as he is not normally like this. 

Parents

  • My son is in his late teens and has a bed covered in soft toys. Some that he’s had since being little, and some that he’s collected much more recently (mostly plush toys from video games he enjoys). I’m happy for him to have them. They’re in his room which is his space and where I hope he can be comfortable expressing himself freely. He doesn’t take them with him when he goes out somewhere such as school or if we go for a meal or the shops or somewhere like that, nor does he carry them around with him in the house. He did however become quite distressed when it was suggested he put some of them away in his wardrobe one time.

    I’ve seen neurodiverse blokes in their 40s with collections of soft toys, and I bet there are LOTS of men, whether neurodiverse or not, who still have their childhood soft toy tucked away somewhere in their home. I think that as long as there are some boundaries, e.g. avoiding situations where it might lead to mockery or bullying, then having soft toys in a personal environment is perfectly ok.

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  • My son is in his late teens and has a bed covered in soft toys. Some that he’s had since being little, and some that he’s collected much more recently (mostly plush toys from video games he enjoys). I’m happy for him to have them. They’re in his room which is his space and where I hope he can be comfortable expressing himself freely. He doesn’t take them with him when he goes out somewhere such as school or if we go for a meal or the shops or somewhere like that, nor does he carry them around with him in the house. He did however become quite distressed when it was suggested he put some of them away in his wardrobe one time.

    I’ve seen neurodiverse blokes in their 40s with collections of soft toys, and I bet there are LOTS of men, whether neurodiverse or not, who still have their childhood soft toy tucked away somewhere in their home. I think that as long as there are some boundaries, e.g. avoiding situations where it might lead to mockery or bullying, then having soft toys in a personal environment is perfectly ok.

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