Getting my daughter out of bed?!

Recently diagnosed could potentially mean in a state of Extreme Relief. The weight and pressure of living hyper-vigilant, always on guard, intensely focused on every critical social experience, constantly battling sensory overload and not knowing what is assaulting you... she may need a full holiday. For some of us not knowing what is going on would be similar to growing up in a prison camp and never learning how to defend ourselves. Suddenly you're let out and shown that world isn't all there is. 

Can you arrange to have her homework sent home for a few weeks? As with anything, a process of healing and recovery begins with rest. I might suggest this is always the next phase. 

She got her diagnosis just as she finished year 11 and then had three months at home not really having to go out, but has now started sixth form, it's almost like she had the rest when she didn't need to deal with anything else but now is having to work out who she is in the real world with this new self knowledge....I don't know how to support her while still helping her to be independent. Getting out of bed seems a basic life requirement that she struggles with, some days worse than others

She got her diagnosis just as she finished year 11 and then had three months at home not really having to go out, but has now started sixth form, it's almost like she had the rest when she didn't need to deal with anything else but now is having to work out who she is in the real world with this new self knowledge....I don't know how to support her while still helping her to be independent. Getting out of bed seems a basic life requirement that she struggles with, some days worse than others

Many of us are quite good at things which are difficult for most and don't fair well at things which 'appear' to be a basic life requirement or... 'simple'. For instance, the discipline of doing a thing on repeat is well suited for science, for orchestral musicians and composers, for editors and scholars. For software engineers.

My son had trouble all the way from high school to Uni. I think the only way at this stage is to lead by example. Set up very specific tasks you can help with and then set up your own routine. Fundamental principles and the internal mechanisms / systems of how things work, how social codes work, how a clock works - these can be important to us. Diligence, genuine kindness, learning to be responsible with the right individuals (work, partnerships), uninterrupted time to focus. These are not necessarily always things society values, but they can be profound for autistic individuals to navigate life by. We can be very productive and driven when we find things to excel at. We can easily focus all our attention and become experts (this is typically referred to as 'restricted' interests, which is a negative way of viewing someone with the potential and ability to become highly skilled).

It is not easy to find ones 'place' in the world and that can be a bit soul-draining. Work out her natural talents and allow her to become a mindful and aware human. someone who invests time in just a few friends, takes thoughtful consideration in how to navigate and allow her to focus on one task at a time. Basic requirements are different for everyone. Humans used to live in tribes / community. The young would learn from the wise every day just being part of their lives. And the wise would have help when they needed it. If times have changed why does the Royal Family support and protect their own? They might be the scapegoats of The Island, but the Queen ensures the well-being of her children and grandchildren. Those basic life requirements are quite different. And while yes, I don't have that kind of money, I do try to invest in my son in similar ways. 

I've recommended it to so many others including females in their late teens/early 20's - see if she's interested in a copy of The Artists Way. And if not, it might be something you can spend time in just to refocus your attention on self-care. That's always a profound way to lead by example.