Teen son with autism, adhd, depression and epilepsy

Hi everyone 

just reaching out.. 

I am not sure where to turn next, my son is 17. He has the following diagnosed conditions; autism. ADHD, depression and epilepsy. He’s not had an easy life, but we are at rock bottom, somehow we kept him in mainstream school but he has now left school mid way through his alevels. He was being billed for being weird, he has now not left home for over two weeks, incredibly depressed and will not leave his bed. He had been on a range of drugs, personally I do not think they have helped, he had been on sertraline  for years, and topirimate for the last two years for his epilepsy. He has lost most of his hair on top, and his specialist and psychologist would not acknowledge he was loosing his hair. He had not eaten a proper meal for over two years, he is skin and bones. He hates me and will not take any advice from me, I suffer with my mental health also and had a breakdown about 6 weeks ago. 
not sure what I am hoping for from posting on here, my wife said to mr I need to accept that he will Kill himself soon and his age expectancy is much lower. I just feel hopeless and alone 

Parents
  • Hi Caring Dad - Thank you for joining the community, welcome! So sorry to hear you and your family are having a really hard time right now, I already see that the community is being wonderful with practical advice and kind words - Thanks everyone!

    Just on your concerns about your son and self harm I thought I would post some links here for you if you ever need them:

    Bullying - Firstly, you can find our guide on dealing with bullying here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/bullying/bullying   If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may like to call the Bullying UK helpline on 0808 800 2222 or by visiting their website: http://bit.ly/IQ47dS.  

    School -  these might not be relevant now but maybe in the future they could be. These pages contain a lot of helpful information about education for a child with an autism: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education This includes information regarding getting extra support for your child in their education setting. You can search for schools that cater for children with an autism spectrum disorder on our Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directoryYou may want to contact our Education Rights Service who provides information, support and advice on educational provision and entitlements. Please see the following link for further information: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/education-advice-line.

    You may be interested in contacting our School Exclusions service. The School Exclusions Service offers advice and information to parents of children and young people on the autism spectrum on all aspects of school exclusion in England. If you would like to access this service please call 0808 800 4002. Please leave a message on the answering service with a brief summary of your enquiry, together with your phone number and email address, so that an Exclusions Adviser can arrange to call you back to discuss your query in detail. https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/school-exclusion-service 

    Self harm - If your son continutes to stuggle and cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about any feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure your son gets appropriate help and support. If it’s outside your GP hours call  111  to reach the NHS 111 service: http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

    The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org. 

    MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.  

    You can find more information here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

    Generally - You can also contact our Autism Helpline for impartial, confidential information: 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Friday 10am to 3pm. Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser. 

    Hope there is something in these useful for you. Keep posting on this forum any specific questions as there are many experience that memebers have been through before and can offer advice on. It might even be useful for your son to join if/when he feels comfortable to do so Slight smile

    All the best, SarahMod

Reply
  • Hi Caring Dad - Thank you for joining the community, welcome! So sorry to hear you and your family are having a really hard time right now, I already see that the community is being wonderful with practical advice and kind words - Thanks everyone!

    Just on your concerns about your son and self harm I thought I would post some links here for you if you ever need them:

    Bullying - Firstly, you can find our guide on dealing with bullying here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/bullying/bullying   If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may like to call the Bullying UK helpline on 0808 800 2222 or by visiting their website: http://bit.ly/IQ47dS.  

    School -  these might not be relevant now but maybe in the future they could be. These pages contain a lot of helpful information about education for a child with an autism: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education This includes information regarding getting extra support for your child in their education setting. You can search for schools that cater for children with an autism spectrum disorder on our Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directoryYou may want to contact our Education Rights Service who provides information, support and advice on educational provision and entitlements. Please see the following link for further information: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/education-advice-line.

    You may be interested in contacting our School Exclusions service. The School Exclusions Service offers advice and information to parents of children and young people on the autism spectrum on all aspects of school exclusion in England. If you would like to access this service please call 0808 800 4002. Please leave a message on the answering service with a brief summary of your enquiry, together with your phone number and email address, so that an Exclusions Adviser can arrange to call you back to discuss your query in detail. https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/school-exclusion-service 

    Self harm - If your son continutes to stuggle and cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about any feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure your son gets appropriate help and support. If it’s outside your GP hours call  111  to reach the NHS 111 service: http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

    The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org. 

    MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.  

    You can find more information here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

    Generally - You can also contact our Autism Helpline for impartial, confidential information: 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Friday 10am to 3pm. Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser. 

    Hope there is something in these useful for you. Keep posting on this forum any specific questions as there are many experience that memebers have been through before and can offer advice on. It might even be useful for your son to join if/when he feels comfortable to do so Slight smile

    All the best, SarahMod

Children
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