New here and just need some help and advice i have no one to talk too

I know exactly how you feel. My son is 3 and was recently diagnosed ASD. I had a traumatic birth and had to have an emergency c-section as the cord was wrapped around his neck. He was also much smaller in weight than estimated at full term and spent a bit of time in the NICU. Around 18 months he was doing all the normal baby stuff, yelling, babbling, started saying dada. I have videos of him doing it. Then shortly after it all stopped. No more talking, babbling, no eye contact. I told my husband at the time that I was worried he might be autistic but he too didn't want to label our son and it became a touchy subject between us. But now at 3 he's been assessed and diagnosed. Where on the spectrum he is, we have no idea yet as it's a touch early. His doctor is going to see him again after his 4th birthday. He doesn't talk, at all. He struggles with eye contact and has just started getting incredibly frustrated and lashing out. It hasn't happened too much yet but it has.

I know that a lot of the time I feel hopeless. Like I did something wrong, that my body did something wrong. But in all honesty, it serves no one. It doesn't make you feel better and certainly doesn't help your child. I know why we do it. So there is something to blame. We can't accept that it was a random set of cirumstances that gave me the child I have. So now, i'm reading everything I can get my hands on. Seeing his strengths (of which he has many) and working with them. Trying to figure out how to work on the things he's not good at. My son learned how to use a spoon properly last week and it was the best thing i've ever seen.

Kids on the spectrum (if that's where your daughter is) are all completely different. Just the same as every other kid. All I can say is that we are all in the same boat. If you need anything. A rant, a complain, or to phrase your little girl, do it. Don't ever feel embarassed about this process. It is very overwhelming.

I know exactly how you feel. My son is 3 and was recently diagnosed ASD. I had a traumatic birth and had to have an emergency c-section as the cord was wrapped around his neck. He was also much smaller in weight than estimated at full term and spent a bit of time in the NICU. Around 18 months he was doing all the normal baby stuff, yelling, babbling, started saying dada. I have videos of him doing it. Then shortly after it all stopped. No more talking, babbling, no eye contact. I told my husband at the time that I was worried he might be autistic but he too didn't want to label our son and it became a touchy subject between us. But now at 3 he's been assessed and diagnosed. Where on the spectrum he is, we have no idea yet as it's a touch early. His doctor is going to see him again after his 4th birthday. He doesn't talk, at all. He struggles with eye contact and has just started getting incredibly frustrated and lashing out. It hasn't happened too much yet but it has.

I know that a lot of the time I feel hopeless. Like I did something wrong, that my body did something wrong. But in all honesty, it serves no one. It doesn't make you feel better and certainly doesn't help your child. I know why we do it. So there is something to blame. We can't accept that it was a random set of cirumstances that gave me the child I have. So now, i'm reading everything I can get my hands on. Seeing his strengths (of which he has many) and working with them. Trying to figure out how to work on the things he's not good at. My son learned how to use a spoon properly last week and it was the best thing i've ever seen.

Kids on the spectrum (if that's where your daughter is) are all completely different. Just the same as every other kid. All I can say is that we are all in the same boat. If you need anything. A rant, a complain, or to phrase your little girl, do it. Don't ever feel embarassed about this process. It is very overwhelming.

Thank you for your reply it is good to hear am not the only one who is in this situation it is an extremely overwhelming position to be in and with having no one else to talk to but my partner who clearly doesn't agree with my views or he does and just wont want to admit it i honestly don't know all i do know is its hard to process my concerns and feelings all by myself i just want to do whats best for my daughter in helping her and it makes me feel like such a failure as a mum that I don't have a clue what to do in order to bring her development on also the thought of having all professionals assessing and observing and analysing her at the age of 2 just seems wrong to me shes just me cute little baby still but I know ignoring the situation will do no good i just don't know what good getting a diagnosis will do what will it change? All her little traits she does thats just a part of her the main cornern I have is her lack of speech i too have videos of her saying baba and dada but now all she does is say ah ah ah or like a muttering noises I just don't know what to do for the best and don't know how to feel about everything its a very scary process thinking about the long hard road ahead 

I appreciate you taking the time to talk and wish you well and luck with the new challenges you may be facing but as you may not already know how strong you already are that am sure you will find a way through