Does it get better?

Maybe you're looking for certainty, a certain answer for your son's future, so you will know what kind of steps to take, but it's hard for anyone to grant you that kind of knowledge. All you can do is take things one day at a time, one step at a time, and when he has to start school, just see where his development is at, and make your decision based on that. 

Also be careful about comparing him to anyone else, because he can only be himself. He might have sensory issues that overwhelm him and makes him have meltdowns or shutdowns, and he is in a strange world where people have already laid out all these expectations that are beyond his current level of understanding, so who knows the kind of pressure this little boy is going through. 

Maybe you're looking for certainty, a certain answer for your son's future, so you will know what kind of steps to take, but it's hard for anyone to grant you that kind of knowledge. All you can do is take things one day at a time, one step at a time, and when he has to start school, just see where his development is at, and make your decision based on that. 

Also be careful about comparing him to anyone else, because he can only be himself. He might have sensory issues that overwhelm him and makes him have meltdowns or shutdowns, and he is in a strange world where people have already laid out all these expectations that are beyond his current level of understanding, so who knows the kind of pressure this little boy is going through. 

I don’t have any expectations for him. The uncertainty is hard for me, but I appreciate the words you said in your first paragraph — that’s very helpful.