Please be kind, I can't handle another thing, I'm on the edge of falling apart ATM and still in fight or flight mode so be kind.
Parent in shop accused of being abusive towards their child.
Ok so we are the parents. My son has OCD, asd, verbal echoalia, sensory processing disorder, not emotionally literate, he hits out physically and verbally and this is on top of social and emotional issues
We have spent 3 months trying to coax him into shopping, just one visit to the shop, this was a reward to get to choose some things for school lunches and the day out we were meant to go on.
Healthy bribery and lots of preparation and hard work paid off.
Hurray we thought, last night celebrated as we managed a trip to Lidl. We went at night when hardly any one there and he did very well. We are so proud of him. He had great fun with a basket choosing things until he didn't. In over excitement.
Sadly during a moment we had to focus him and husband held his hands either side of his head l, not hard but it is a technique to help him focus) and maintained eye contact (not something we expect everyone to understand but it works for him and it isn't harming in any way. Dr approved lol). He does shout out at people and hot out and scream and runs in blind panic and sometimes needs restraining but this is a way to prevent that stage happening
Anyway after the initial calm and refocus whilst still in this position put son asked why are you so red, my husband said because I'm hot, wearing a mask and bending over and my son giggled and said you are really red.They were then holding hands laughing and talking
Next thing the store staff man comes up yelling at my husband to get his hands off of him and shouted you are out of order and if you lay your hands on him im going to call the police. This is the point he flashes his badge (security badge maybe)
My son went into complete meltdown mode and screamed and cried and clung onto his dad for dear life, he was terrified and screamed and shook for several hours afterwards. He gave himself a major headache and got to the point of retching.
I also have Asperger's and other issues and social anxiety and rarely leave the house. It was a big step for me to go to the shop too.
My son is in the only school in the area that can meet need due to complexities and issues he has and the extremeties he has been through and how hard it's been to get him out. I explained this to the manager and she tried to compare this to her ADHD child. My son has to go to an independent school in the next county as only one to meet need.
I explained all this to the manager who intervened after I tried to get answers from the loud and obnoxious man and informed him exactly what our situation was, I'm not proud to say I lost control and shouted at him calling him a few expletives but momma bear mode took over. He has my son in such a state. I'd already got the family to leave the store so I could deal with the manager and they could try and calm my son.
The manager took details such as name and telephone number so after getting cctv footage she can call to discuss my complaint.
After giving this she said that if she sees he is justified then she will give it to the police. I said fair enough as have nothing to hide.
So has anyone else gone through anything similar. Can the store and manager do this when there is nothing wrong.
How do you work with a child with additional needs that are so severe and social and emotional needs, we follow the advice of psychologists etc and coax him out in a quiet time and build up the idea first only for this to happen.
It has utterly destroyed his willingness to go anywhere or do anything, leaving the house has gone back to being a nightmare. Honestly I don't think I want to ever leave the house again so can't blame him.
Why not pull me aside or my husband. Why tell at him at my child who is now convinced this man wants to hurt him and kill his daddy.
He has caused so many problems for both me and my son and has set us both really far back. I'm still physically shaking and i don't think I can leave the house I don't know whether to scream or cry.
Has anyone else been here?
Has anyone got any experience on rights with security guard?
Any legal advise over what he has done?
I'm stumped.
Thanks for reading this essay
