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Wandering. Update:

ParentingAutism

Hi, you probably happened read my latest forum but thank you if you did. It was an incident that happened with my daughter and her leaving the house and running off. 

Basically, there was another incident the other day and I reported her as a missing child. We had an argument on the way back home from her dad's and she just wanted to leave the house when we got home. I stopped her but then all of a sudden, she ran to the kitchen and pulled a knife out and tried waving it in front of me. I was absolutely petrified and broke down in tears, where she then left through the gate and disappeared. This was when my husband was picking our youngest son up and my daughter was in the garden. We saw her location and it told us she was only down the road so we looked for her as well as my family who were down. 

We couldn't find her so we looked at all the go to places she might have gone to and there was no sign of her at all. That's when we tried calling her but no answer. Her phone was switched off. Then we called the police and reported her missing. Around 4 hours later, I was contacted by the pub staff miles away who said she was there with them again. The staff were more worried about my child than their customers. One staff member even walked next to her in the middle of the road trying to get herself to safety. I am so thankful for their help. I found out that she had walked through the forest and had walked through a pond or something and she was soaked and cold. 

The day after was a struggle. We had the police round to make sure nothing happened to her and then we had social workers round again to talk to our youngest about the other incident. But in the end, my eldest came down saying she had took something and was laughing. She took 2 paracetamol. Last year she overdosed on it. We believe it was for attention. We then spoke to her and talked through everything. She is not allowed out by herself. We believe the first incident was planned because nothing triggered it that day and we found evidence on her phone and laptop from days before on the search history and it all links with the day it happened. It was all very scary, especially because it happened last year. The social worker will be talking to her school when they go back to see if she can have some therapy. I don't know what to do really. It's all very scary. If she wants to leave, she will go to extreme measures to let that happen. Including jumping into next doors garden. What the flip do I do now. She's dangerous. 

Parents

  • That sounds really bad I'm not too sure what you can do apart from what you have already done, it seems you have all the relevant people involved in order to help.

    I hope it gets better and it's just her going through hormonal teenage years, it's hard enough as it is but being on the spectrum makes it that's much harder. She is clearly struggling to communicate what she wants if she is resorting to that level aggression, there must be a reason why she wants to go out and leave the but whether or not she can communicate that to you effectively is something different.

    Hopefully if she gets good therapy and someone to talk to that can help her and teach her better ways she will calm down. 

Reply

  • That sounds really bad I'm not too sure what you can do apart from what you have already done, it seems you have all the relevant people involved in order to help.

    I hope it gets better and it's just her going through hormonal teenage years, it's hard enough as it is but being on the spectrum makes it that's much harder. She is clearly struggling to communicate what she wants if she is resorting to that level aggression, there must be a reason why she wants to go out and leave the but whether or not she can communicate that to you effectively is something different.

    Hopefully if she gets good therapy and someone to talk to that can help her and teach her better ways she will calm down. 

Children
  • in reply to O

    My brother was the same whenever he was little. But he managed to survive, undiagnosed, and copes with life better than me. Expressionless

  • in reply to O

    Thanks O, I am hoping it is just communication issues. I just feel like we are losing her. The police and social workers are so close to taking her and putting her in care. They've had to take her out of our care twice now. It's heartbreaking. We still don't know what happened with the first incident. All she said is that she didn't want to come home. She went for a walk and didn't return. It was a long night. From my point of view, everything was fine in the morning and had been for weeks so we don't know what triggered it. 

    It could be all the building work and extension so we can't go out too long so we are stuck under the same roof all the time. Her father said that she is just getting bored, but would she really go to the length because she was bored. Last year we had the same issue but that was mental health related and this time it definitely isn't. It's all confusing. I struggle to think about the future. She's putting herself in dangerous situations again. I got told she went up to a drunk man in a pub to see his dog and started chatting too him. It's worrying, her going up to strangers. Anything could've happened. I'm just a worried parent.