Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi! My son is 8 years old and attends a mainstream school. He has had an EHCP in place since he was 5. He spends quite a lot of time lone working with his TA as he finds being in the classroom too much. He doesn't really have friends, but seems to go into school most days without too much fuss. Although he always states he doesn't like school. My concerns are that he is going into year 4 and academically is far behind his peers, my son can only just write his name and has meltdowns if asked to do any writing. He can barely read and is far behind in all subjects. He is very bright about things he's interested in (cars, trucks etc) we have a 7 year old daughter in the school year below, but same class as my son. She adores school and excels. Which obviously causes tension as my son is very upset that he 'can't' do things (his words)
I guess my question is, how do we know if he should be in a special provision school? He doesn't enjoy school, because he finds learning such a struggle. He's also very paranoid about being 'different' to his peers. My son is such a lovely, caring and kind boy. He doesn't get angry or aggressive at school, there have been a few children from his class with 'behaviour issues' moved to different schools because mainstream couldn't meet their needs. For us, it isn't a behaviour issue but an education issue.
I'm always so worried that if he stays in mainstream he is just continuously falling behind, worried about the long term, eg will he be bullied at secondary school if he can still barely read and write? but worried moving him to a specialist school is too much? How do people know what is the right thing to do?
Thankyou so much for reading my essay! Any help/advice would be hugely appreciated
Does he have any learning difficulties that might cause him frustration? I had dyscalculia (math dyslexia) that was completely oblivious to me the entire time I was in school, because doing math was an independent activity, so I just struggled through it.
My brother struggled with reading and writing (I suspect that he might have a learning disorder like I did, and that he tried to hide it from everyone), he felt embarrassed, overwhelmed from being left behind, and at the mainstream school they just kept passing him, until he went to high school, and all the material was too much for him, that he ended up skipping school, then eventually he dropped out of school.
I think that maybe a professional should access your son for any learning difficulties, so that he can get help to strengthen those areas. I mean there's some anxiety that comes from learning, so maybe try to take what your son is interested in (cars, trucks etc) and somehow incorporate them into what he's learning.