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Help re: stim (older child)

Ineedsomebodyhelp

Hi! I am new here so please bear with me. 

I have a very beautiful and intellectual 11 year old daughter who has always shown traits of autism and has recently been diagnosed. Unfortunately, she is pretty much a recluse and doesn't like to leave the house at all. This has become an issue in regards to school where she is only attending 2 days per week. She has lost all of her friends - which she is not bothered about - but this really affects me because I just feel at her age she needs her own friends. 

The reason for this post is.. I feel very alone in all of this, and none of my own friends seem to understand. Are there any sort of people I can speak to on here that shares the same thing, with a child of the similar age. Long story short: she lives in her own fantasy world in her head, of her own making. She believes her only friend is a character and when she goes into her fantasy world, she stims through clapping, jumping, clicking, pacing for hours and hours per day. If there is anyone else out there that is living through this aswell?

I've tried groups for children with autism but she is terrified of the social expectation. CAMHS are no use at all. Private therapy was useless because she is mute/non-verbal.. only with me can she speak but at rare times she is not able to. It's quite draining! I love her to bits and just want to find some support for her.

Any ideas or help.. please do get in contact or reply. I'll be so grateful. Feel quite lost and alone in all of this

Thanks x

Parents

  • Hi, my daughter is 10 next month and I feel exactly the same. Around may time she started refusing school and I had to home school until they broke up for summer holidays. She hasn’t been diagnosed yet but her assessments start in September. My daughter had mainly 1 best friend and a few associates but since the school refusal she’s became more isolated, blocked the girls from school numbers, including her best friend and just spends every minute of the day sitting with me, I’m a single parent so things are tough at the minute. It breaks my heart seeing how isolated she’s became, she actually tells me ‘I hate them’ she spends her days sitting with me and on TikTok or YouTube just watching videos. Doesn’t want to go anywhere or be around anyone I have to force her to get ready, some days it doesn’t work and she spends the day in her pyjamas upset and very anxious.

  • in reply to Chelsie

    Thanks Chelsie. This is what happened at the start of the first lockdown aswell. She won't answer to any friends and has deleted them all. I am also considering homeschooling. If you want to chat at some point, please PM me. I'm also a single mum and understand exactly what it's like xx

Reply Children
  • in reply to Ineedsomebodyhelp

    Hi, i Havnt a clue how to PM. What you wrote sounds just like my daughter. Im dreading the new school term in September. I don’t even know when she will go back. I already home schooled throughout covid then had to do it again because of school refusal she will have been at home 15 weeks including the school holidays. Im no teacher so im scared incase she’s falling massively behind, im hoping once we have our app with cyps that I know more of what is happening, im thinking therapy and possibly medication, she hates sleep, really anxious. She doesn’t like going places but she never has to be honest we were always first to leave a party. And she has lots of phobias main one is being sick or any one else being sick it terrifies her. Even if it’s on tele and someone mentions the word she’s in panic mode asks me to turn it off. She’s very fussy with clothes and food. And throughout the day she strims alot, she has a big gym ball she rolls about on that and also a wobble cushion they’re really good aswell. She’s always on all fours and like rocks, I feel so sad for her because she literally just wants to sit with me, she has a beautiful little bedroom and I can’t even remember the last time she actually even sat in there. But then I think it’s what makes her happy otherwise she wouldn’t want to do it, you just don’t know what to do for the best do you xx