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Help re: stim (older child)

Ineedsomebodyhelp

Hi! I am new here so please bear with me. 

I have a very beautiful and intellectual 11 year old daughter who has always shown traits of autism and has recently been diagnosed. Unfortunately, she is pretty much a recluse and doesn't like to leave the house at all. This has become an issue in regards to school where she is only attending 2 days per week. She has lost all of her friends - which she is not bothered about - but this really affects me because I just feel at her age she needs her own friends. 

The reason for this post is.. I feel very alone in all of this, and none of my own friends seem to understand. Are there any sort of people I can speak to on here that shares the same thing, with a child of the similar age. Long story short: she lives in her own fantasy world in her head, of her own making. She believes her only friend is a character and when she goes into her fantasy world, she stims through clapping, jumping, clicking, pacing for hours and hours per day. If there is anyone else out there that is living through this aswell?

I've tried groups for children with autism but she is terrified of the social expectation. CAMHS are no use at all. Private therapy was useless because she is mute/non-verbal.. only with me can she speak but at rare times she is not able to. It's quite draining! I love her to bits and just want to find some support for her.

Any ideas or help.. please do get in contact or reply. I'll be so grateful. Feel quite lost and alone in all of this

Thanks x

Parents

  • I agree with Juniper she sounds happy. If you have not read it, you may like a book called 'The reason I jump' by an autistic child. It helped me understand my son, although no two autistic people are the same. When he starts leaping, skipping etc I know its his way of relaxing. To help him relax we go out for walks in the countryside, as the child in this book found nature a comfort.

    I stopped worrying about him having friends of his own age at about the same age as your daughter. He lost all the friends from primary school, but seemed happier anyway. He went to karate and scouts, but that only worked when there was a leader who adapted to his needs, if she is not happy socialising at all, it is probably not worth it.

  • in reply to Gerty

    Thanks Gerty, I just bought this book now. I am slowly realising that she might not need friends in order to develop and grow. As long as she's happy, then that's all that matters. Thanks so much, you sound like a fabulous mum xx

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