Help with violence against family members

Hi, we've got a 6 year old son who is in the process of being diagnosed with what we strongly suspect is ASD.  The biggest issue we have right now is when he becomes violent and aggressive towards us and his sister.  This happens during meltdowns but also on other occasions such as simply not getting what he wants can trigger an attack when he was happy up until that point.  An example is that he ask to play football with me when I had finished work for the day and I said I would in 2 minutes as I need to get a drink - that prompted an attack.

It used to only happen at home, but if becoming more frequent when we're out.  It's getting to the point that we simply don't feel that we can all go out together, and can only take our children out separately.

We do our best to reduce his anxiety and keep things calm at home and when we go out, like going to the playground early when there is no-one else there.  But things feel like they are getting worse.

If anyone has any advice with what we can do to help prevent these attacks then it would be very gratefully received.  I understand that the best way is to try and prevent them in the first place, but if he seems happy and then can turn in an instant then it's harder to prevent - we can't always give exactly what he want, when he wants.

Thanks

Parents
  • Go and seek a professional, their is nothing we can suggest because they could be so many triggers. But fundamentally aggression and violence occurs when your not allowing him his basic needs. trying to control them is going to back fire, but working with them to manage their obsession and sensory needs must be made a priority.

    You need to understand that them having autism should not be used as an excuse to excuse their bad behaviour because you will create the monster you are portraying and people are going to be less empathetic with their difficulties in the future and with other autism spectrum. 

    You need to understand the differences between meltdowns and tantrums. Meltdowns occurs because of over stimulation, under stimulation, anxiety and stress. its occurs because they are overwhelmed and cant think and they go into flight and fight mode which is a defence mechanism the all creatures have.

    Tantrums are used to manipulate other in order to get what they want, autistic children can still have tantrums to get what they want

Reply
  • Go and seek a professional, their is nothing we can suggest because they could be so many triggers. But fundamentally aggression and violence occurs when your not allowing him his basic needs. trying to control them is going to back fire, but working with them to manage their obsession and sensory needs must be made a priority.

    You need to understand that them having autism should not be used as an excuse to excuse their bad behaviour because you will create the monster you are portraying and people are going to be less empathetic with their difficulties in the future and with other autism spectrum. 

    You need to understand the differences between meltdowns and tantrums. Meltdowns occurs because of over stimulation, under stimulation, anxiety and stress. its occurs because they are overwhelmed and cant think and they go into flight and fight mode which is a defence mechanism the all creatures have.

    Tantrums are used to manipulate other in order to get what they want, autistic children can still have tantrums to get what they want

Children
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