How to help my boy deal with anxiety

As a mother, I can say that once we speak out loud the things causing anxiety, especially if we can get help expressing them (language and identifying things can be tumultous for young humans), it Always takes power away from the thing haunting us.

It is a thing kept in secret which can fester and oppress. 

All children eventually become aware of a messy and sometimes violent world. They are being told conflicting information constantly. Worse, they always lack perspective and context. They need to process out loud how their mind and internal self is attempting to cope. And they need to be able to do that without the wiser, more mature adult condeming or judging them or the issue. if this "sage" of an adult (parent or therapist or mentor) can guide the child objectively through all the complexities of their difficult or nightmarish thoughts, this child will always feel safe to bring these problems to this person. How many children just have nightmares from films they shouldn't have been exposed to, don't say anything, and eventually those thoughts become so warped and oppressive, they judge themselves to be horrible humans for even thinking of them to begin with? 

The world can be a very horrifying place, it can be a fantastic place, as well. But children need to know that many of the thoughts they're struggling with Do Not come from within. They are merely recieving information from the world around and trying to process it. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/experimentations/201901/the-secrets-you-keep-are-hurting-you-heres-how

View thier mental stuggles as a math problem! Allow them to say literally anything and don't flinch. Write it all down if it helps and begin to examine where it was received, how he feels about it, present ways to veiw it, and maybe there's a Disney film or Animation where the lead character had to deal with something similar? Turn it into a quest :) 

Hi, what a fantastic advice JuniperfromGallifrey. I feel better myself after reading you reply. I understand the importance of sharing the worry and I am glad he is able to do that with me. I wish I had the right words to make him feel better. I tell him to stay right in" the moment "with me but is that enough? Thank you for the link and your ideas. I will work on what you have suggested. 

Hi, what a fantastic advice JuniperfromGallifrey. I feel better myself after reading you reply. I understand the importance of sharing the worry and I am glad he is able to do that with me. I wish I had the right words to make him feel better. I tell him to stay right in" the moment "with me but is that enough? Thank you for the link and your ideas. I will work on what you have suggested. 

Thank you so much. Your approach to this matter is so wise and inspiring. He is thinking about death as a concept at the moment. (I apologise if this is upsetting for someone). He has discovered death affects us all and he is scared of it, of the big unknown because he cannot rationalise it. However, you are right when you say words do not matter as much as me being there for him. Again, thank you. 

When my son was this age, he began asking all kinds of really massive questions. The big ones, like the issue of Fate or Free Will, the Problem of Evil. These questions that all philosophers are still grinding away at. I suddenly felt what I'm guessing my parents felt when I asked these at an incredibly young age. Sometimes all we can tell them about these is what ever hope we have: good will win or you can make choices. It really helps us think more and just letting them know that you're willing to struggle to find the answer but don't have it yet can be frustrating for a minute, but helpful in the long-term. You can depend on me And sometimes I don't know teaches reliability + trust and humility. My Dad is always the first to apologise and is OK with what he doesn't know but that doesn't stop him from going on a quest to learn! I deeply admire these traits and it's set an expectation and a standard for me in life. 

Make sure you say you wish you had the words! And that you're willing to figure this out with him. Then maybe you will always have ideas, thoughts, dreams, problems to connect over :)