Constant talking

Not much helpful advice sorry but would background music help? I have an 11yo diagnosed ASD daughter who does this and my 6yo does it too, I feel your pain. Sometimes I put the radio on and then they will at least sing along or decide to go to their room to watch videos instead lol x

Awww. How many mothers would Kill to be YOU! 

But it's understandable. Have you tried this very specific wording: "I really want to hear about everything. (full stop - Purposefully Omit Every 'but'). Can you write down your thoughts so you don't forget them and tell me in exactly half hour? I want to focus on _____". Or "I'm having a difficult moment right now, how about in 1 hour exact?"

Express you Want to listen and connect.

Completely omit the 'but' in exchange for the word 'and'. "I want to hear everything AND I'll be able to in 20 minutes" (this is called the Yes And technique in Improv)

Set an alarm and be calculated about returning in exactly that amount of time. It reinforces she can trust you every time you need an escape and then eventually she won't get upset. It will take a few times for her to get used to this. She can even set her alarm if it helps. But depending on her brain, she may need to practice writing everything down anyway. 

I used this with my son when he was young. Now if I start talking and he's unprepared, he gives me the same mantra. Absoltuely adorable. However, this discipline will aid her infintely in buisness and intimate relationships, and should help her begin to understand boundaries in a kind and purposeful way. 

start taking 3 hour baths, go to bed early but not, tell her you want to start meditating, why dont she try it too and get both of you headphones to listen on your phones. if i need a break and cant escape i lock myself in the loo and cry, it works for me, lol.

This is pulling the wrong pic so some reason. There's a card that says, "I want quiet." For many of us, it's common that our mom is our best friend. Still, we gotta make sure momma is comfy/happy. She'll make friends here. It's hard.

I bought the cards. I don't care if they're for kids, but these are going to make it where asking for alone time--don't want to talk--much easier not to take offense. It's important for you to get what you need to-so you don't become resentful. I admit, this sounds like me to. My mom is my best friend & I have 1 & lots of aquaintences. There is energy accounting, talking might be giving you too many withdrawals or maybe at the end of the day when you're having dinner/relaxing would be better. Have you been dx'd yourself for autism or felt it resonated with you?

Hello again. Oh for some alone time! I really have tried but she gets upset. I end feeling like the worst mum ever.

Sad to say she has no friends to spend time with which puts more pressure on me. Any friendships she had previously always go wrong and disappear quickly. She keeps busy but wants to involve me in everything. I try my best to understand but as you rightly say can be taken advantage of.  If I ask for quiet time she takes offence. Thank you very much for replying it really does help.

Good! I feel bad, bc like I said...I talk alot & then I also need alot of alone time. My husband is a saint. He is also neurodivergent & tends to interrupt alot-which, now I know why too. It's ok to get overloaded, you're human-you're allowed. I know it can be draining & that I can be the one doing the draining w/all my chatter lol. She should join the chat here & there are discord channels where people talk/play video games----she might have thousands of words to get out. Shoot, even a YouTube channel. Happy to help.

The Lone Wolf   Thank you so much that helps me understand why a bit more. I guess other parents of autistic adults have the same problem after reading all the replies. Just that covid and having to shield made it so much worse. 

I watched this as I'm drinking my coffee & thought of you/your situation. Maybe this will help?

Hi Mazzamchardy

Constant talking is common - we tend to do 'open thinking' so all the internal dialogue you have going on inside your head just naturally verbalises so you get to hear what we think in real time.     As she gets older, it might calm down and she'll have better things to think about so it won't be as distracting.   It can also be a sign of internal stress - is she busy with hobbies or friends or stuck in the house all day?

It can be an advantage or a disadvantage in relationships - the openness can make a very simple and close bond - but also risks being taken advantage of.

Transparent communication----it's not that you don't want to talk/hear from her---but it's the frequency. You might create a sign that says 'alone time.' I'm bad in that I talk excessively at times, but also want alone time. I've realized this & now husband/I have a system to 'steer clear' so we know when it's the appropriately designed time to chat at each other again.