You don't look Autistic ??

my family doctor told me i don't look autistic just because i'm a white cis woman who fits beauty standards, i can't imagine how much harder it must be for people who don't have a diagnosis ):

Interesting ? I have actually emailed them yesterday so ill wait and see what happens next ? It sounds a lot better than many other organisations out there ?  I'm still gobsmacked at the lack of adult support .I have always found that with my own mental health problems it has been a shocking situation,25 years of it i should really write a book .  

Actually I was going to sugest, ‘ah well you don’t look stupid either.’

I think that we in the same group of being autistic but because we are not intellectual impaired they expect us to get on with it.  what district do you live ? i live in breckland.  

Typically they offer you three sessions, Unlike all the fake help and organisations out there they are not target focused but they focus on individuals which means the often stray away from the three sessions they originally offer if they believe you need them.

The original three sessions focus on different things but the first sessions explores your feelings about your diagnosis & adjusting to a new diagnosis. The second session focuses on how to telling others about your diagnosis while starting to think about possible areas for reasonable adjustments. The third session is about your reasonable adjustments & signposting to appropriate services.

Because my situation was complex they strayed away from the three session structure and brought a phycologist who with the post autism support worker have counselled me into accepting stimming, to accept my level ability , to accept my needs reasonable adjustments & have helped me moved on from all the negative stuff the happened because of families issues.

I am still interacting with them and they are developing during my sessions with them a health passport and letter for reasonable adjustments in the workplace so that i can hand into a possible future employer to improve my chances at achieving a long term sustainable employment opportunities.

They have signed post me to a few organisations, health and welfare team & Employment scheme.

Because my GP has failed to record information, my medical records have gone missing from the last two decades and GP fails to fill out DWP forms out to support benefit claims they have written a letter to support my PIP claim.  

Because my situation was so negative and complex adult social services was involved prior to them reaching out to me, i was on the waiting list since i was diagnosed few years ago. The Post autism support team is rather new but they worked with and interacted with my social workers and support workers.   

My reply to that is, "And you don’t look like an a**hole, but there you go, looks can be deceptive"

could be, if they consider that they can get better results catching it early. while a adult is set in their ways and harder to help so could be about limited funds combined with trying to get the best results. adult is likely already too screwed and set on a off cliff course and cannot be saved, child can be prevented from going on that off cliff course entirely. although this kinda would end up neglecting those that would need help most.

I wonder if it could be more to do with funding

Hi Blue,

You couldn't make this up ,I've been through the experiences you mention early on in your post !  OMG exactly what you have written happened to me only literally days ago !  I wont mention the organisation but  my words to a certain person from a certain organisation was ' not qualified to work with people like me, you don't know what your talking about ?  All your doing is making sure that your own targets are reached and your backside is covered' !  what does the Autism Service Norfolk actually do ? 

Yes because my  (our)  problems are hidden to most people, doesn't mean that i  don't have serious issues, but to anybody i guess i come across as normal ?  It would be nice to mix with like minded people in a support group where i actually live. When i google autistic support it's not what im looking for and i certainly don't look like and behave like these people. I see groups where i live of autistic people being taken for walks and they come across as very mentally ill. Like Harvey Price as you mention their form of autism is in another league, but i still have serious meltdowns myself. Harvey price is a cool dude and very funny 

support groups i meant to say.

Hi Mark, I'm Blue.

I also happened to live in Norfolk and will be twenty five by the end of this year. I can list a few organisation that i am currently getting support from if that helps. I know where you're coming from because i had to wait six years from the age of sixteen to be assessed. I Wasn't diagnosed until 2019 when i was finally diagnosed age 22 years old. Through those six years waiting i was denied support and missed out on obtaining a actual education and was forced into working in some horrendous conditions & spent the last eight years on and off benefits, i have done so much free work experience its a joke, online learning and Job centre training opportunities and honestly its a load of rubbish that lead to nowhere.

The organisation i have tried and i really recommend avoiding are The ShawTrust, Genuis Within, Ixion, . These organisations despite two of them being set up to assist people with nuerodivergencies, learning difficulties and mental health have no basic understanding and will either fob you off or pressure you into false opportunities like leisure learning opportunities or pointless work experience. They will also will try and force you into inappropriate short term work opportunities to fulfill their targets. Coaching sessions from Genuis within must be a cruel joke, they offer three one to one  phone call sessions or three group sessions over the teams to tell you they can do nothing and that you too high functioning for their Kickstarter scheme. 

If you are looking for one to one support for assistance looking into work or educational opportunities then there's only one person within Norfolk i can Recommend and her name is Lynn Keane who is currently working in for "The Chances Project" In Thetford. The organisation she works for is underfunded garbage but Lynn is very proactive, will not force you or pressure you into situations you do not want to pursue and does not pretend to understand Autism but will listen to you and tailor the support to you individually. 

The Princes Trust Team Programme that operates in Dereham may be option if your 25 years or under when you apply for their programme. I would only look into the Dereham programme as is operated by an amazing women called chantel who very supportive and understand autism as her step son has complex needs. 

if you are looking for post autism support then i recommend applying for post autism support through Autism Service Norfolk which is apart of the Norfolk Community Health and Care NHS Trust. They operate from Room 97, Norwich Community Hospital, Bowthorpe Road, Norwich NR2  3TU. 

It's because the mainstream media focuses on a certain group of autistic individuals. I am going to use Harvey Price as an example, [Please no one take offence to this i don't mean to use him as example in a malicious manor.] But typical people still associate autism spectrum disorder with individuals like Harvey Price who neurologically typical individuals can visually see that he is at a intellectual disadvantage through the ways he uncontrollable presents himself & how he engage in non typical age appropriate interests like barnie the dinosaur and frogs in a true childed like manor. 

The problem with this is Harvey doesn't just have autism but a range of comorbidities disorder that leave him intellectually challenged but the major one they seem to focus on is the Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis because of his destructive habits. Which yes it has something to do with autism spectrum disorder but is amplified and manifest in that way because of the other disorders.

This view of autistic individuals is what makes it difficult for the Autistic individuals who are extremely capable but need a little extra support get help with finding suitable & sustainable long term employment, educational opportunities, access local services and leisure activities.           

Caelus

Caelus said:

but rather wants to signal to others that they are helping as a pathetic social thing to make themselves look better

It's known as Virtue Signalling, and there's a lot of it about.

Ben

true, when googling or searching for diagnosis or help of any kind its always focused on children as if adults dont exist lol

this is just the case of the helper only helping to want to feel good about themselves.... they will feel good "helping" children, but adults are just adults, adults dont have the same feel as helping a child to them, so they find it not worth it, after all the helper doesnt want to help but rather wants to signal to others that they are helping as a pathetic social thing to make themselves look better rather than actually helping. they get more social points helping a child than a adult. when the child becomes adult they discard the child and no longer care about that life as it holds no social point value to them to help no more lol

Fed up with looking for support for normal ? autistic adults. I think it may be a question of lump it and like it. The support seems to be for children or people who are severely ill ?  I suffer with dreadful mental health problems for a long time but I've never bothered to get help . 

I find the best response is something along the lines of, "Thank you! You can't imagine how hard it is to try and fit in and hide that, so it's lovely to hear that I'm getting it right at least some of the time."

It basically helps them recalibrate.

there is no help for us pal. Ive been told i dont look autistic. What do autistic people look like lol? Tell them not to comment as they have no clue. I was diagnosed with autosm in 2006 im 29 now male from The uk. U wouldnt tell looking at me. I feel like im struggling more now im older and i havemt been able to find any help ive been trying for a few years. We just gotta keep head up and keep it moving

Hi Mark

Welcome to the forum - sorry you're feeling so down.

I don't know the area you're in so I can't help directly but I can suggest some ways of meeting like-minded people.

Have you seen meetup.com?    It's a social site where people post events - from simple things like pub evenings to bowling or lunches - or specialist groups for things like local history or even dog-walking meets.

Another way is to look at all your childhood hobbies and passions and find the grown-up version of it - I do Lego and models and I'm into classic cars - all pretty nerdy and odds are a good number of people in those groups are going to be aspie- like me.

Obviously, these are not organised for you - you have to feel your own way - but I've had good results and still meet with new friends for coffee meets - covid permitting..