Published on 12, July, 2020
Good evening,
Firstly I’d like to say I have no idea if I’m posting in the right place as I have never used this website before and also do not actually use any social networking or anything therefore I have no idea what’s what really when it comes to the rights and wrongs of posting online.
So, as it says my daughter is 8 and she’s started hitting me in anger. She also has kicked holes in the walls and doors of our home. This happens when I even so much as tell her “time to clean your teeth.” Or for example last night she wanted sauce on her rice. I did it for her and with that she threw the plate, kicked the table and ran upstairs where she slammed her door multiple times and threw things around her bedroom. I leave her to it as it makes it worse if I go up there and within sometimes 20 mins or maybe longer like an hour she comes back downstairs normally to show me a picture she’s drawn like nothing has happened.
What I’m asking is does anyone else’s child do this? Is it an autistic or adhd thing?
I feel like I’m alone in how I walk in egg shells ALL of the time. I could say “bath time” and she’s fine but the next day.. “bath time” sends her into a meltdown or tantrum I don’t know which one. She will shout “NO!” then slam her door or throw something.
Today she apparently told another child at school to “F off” and then told the teacher to also “F off!” This is new she doesn’t usually swear at all. I honestly don’t know how to help her but most of all I almost want a bunch of other mums to tell me they also experience this.
Thank - you.
Thank you for your reply, yes sorry I didn’t add that although she has autism they’re very much looking towards her having PDA. Pathological demand avoidance. She does have terrible behaviour too which I have put down to her ADHD as my ADHD son is the same behaviour wise he just doesn’t have the meltdown obviously. I have one neuro typical child too so I know the bad behaviour can’t be down to mine and my partners parenting just the fact that they have these disorders.
I appreciate you writing to me, I’m at my wits end at the moment that’s all it’s a lot to deal with each day and I fear it’s only MY child that’s like it.
I'm not your best source of advice. I am awaiting for an assessment myself and as a child used to shut down more often than melt down and my melt downs are only ever harmful to me. I am a parent, but of an NT child ( now adult). With that, I can't pretend to have any magic insight, but certainly sounds like a PDA profile.
Whatever it is, you need some help fast. That can't go on. What's going to happen when she's physically strong enough to do you some physical damage?
I'd talk to GP and the school and insist you need support from some one with some expertise now.