Excessive crying 8 year old- please help

I doubt he's doing it for attention if he's exhibiting other autistic traits, and he must be if you suspect he's on the spectrum. Although children will do anything, negative or positive, for attention if they feel they're not getting enough of it, and crying is a good as anything, and they certainly, as a general rule, don't think "I can't cry in front of other people, or my peers", (I've raised two children and have grandchildren too, I also used to work as a nanny, and in a school, so I've had a lot of experience with children. I used to be one too! Lol!), autistic children can express extremely intense emotion which will result in these intense crying episodes, or 'meltdowns'. He's finding something too hard to cope with, maybe he's over stimulated due to sensory issues, or something isn't happening as he feels it should happen (autistic children, and adults, tend to be very set on certain routines, things have to be 'just so', games played in a certain manner, etc etc. Does your husband accept that your son might be on the spectrum? If he doesn't, you're going to have a hard job changing his perspective, I'm afraid. As far as your son goes, have you tried talking to him after the meltdown to try and find out what triggered it? He may not really know, but it's worth asking. If he does know, you can work towards a more acceptable solution, and teach him how to start recognising the early signs, when he's still in control of himself, so that he can act to try and stop or minimise it. It takes time, and patience, but it can work well. My granddaughter started using emotion cards, which she would show to whoever she was with when she was unable to verbally express her feelings (hers had 'sad', 'angry', 'upset', 'confused', etc, on them), and they really helped her. She eventually was able to start recognising the signs that led to her meltdowns and thus was able to stop them before they started at lot of the time. She's gone from having several meltdowns a day, to having only one or two a week. It's a huge improvement but has taken several years. It's not an overnight fix. Nothing is going to be an overnight fix, I'm afraid. The key though, is trying to get your husband on side. You're not going to be able to successfully help your son unless you're both on the same page, and are both doing the same things.  

I doubt he's doing it for attention if he's exhibiting other autistic traits, and he must be if you suspect he's on the spectrum. Although children will do anything, negative or positive, for attention if they feel they're not getting enough of it, and crying is a good as anything, and they certainly, as a general rule, don't think "I can't cry in front of other people, or my peers", (I've raised two children and have grandchildren too, I also used to work as a nanny, and in a school, so I've had a lot of experience with children. I used to be one too! Lol!), autistic children can express extremely intense emotion which will result in these intense crying episodes, or 'meltdowns'. He's finding something too hard to cope with, maybe he's over stimulated due to sensory issues, or something isn't happening as he feels it should happen (autistic children, and adults, tend to be very set on certain routines, things have to be 'just so', games played in a certain manner, etc etc. Does your husband accept that your son might be on the spectrum? If he doesn't, you're going to have a hard job changing his perspective, I'm afraid. As far as your son goes, have you tried talking to him after the meltdown to try and find out what triggered it? He may not really know, but it's worth asking. If he does know, you can work towards a more acceptable solution, and teach him how to start recognising the early signs, when he's still in control of himself, so that he can act to try and stop or minimise it. It takes time, and patience, but it can work well. My granddaughter started using emotion cards, which she would show to whoever she was with when she was unable to verbally express her feelings (hers had 'sad', 'angry', 'upset', 'confused', etc, on them), and they really helped her. She eventually was able to start recognising the signs that led to her meltdowns and thus was able to stop them before they started at lot of the time. She's gone from having several meltdowns a day, to having only one or two a week. It's a huge improvement but has taken several years. It's not an overnight fix. Nothing is going to be an overnight fix, I'm afraid. The key though, is trying to get your husband on side. You're not going to be able to successfully help your son unless you're both on the same page, and are both doing the same things.