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Excessive crying 8 year old- please help

NAS73531

Hello. I am new here. I have an 8 year old son who is likely autistic but we are still waiting for a diagnosis. I am getting very worried about how often he cries. It’s usually if he’s hurt himself (even a tiny thing like a graze), or when he gets frustrated at someone. Sometimes the crying is so bad he ended up having a panic attack where he thinks he’s choking and can’t breathe. It’s causing a lot of friction in the household as my husband thinks he’s doing it for attention and it should just be ignored. Whenever is happens my husband get very annoyed and this makes me even more stressed. I feel like I am living in a state of constant anxiety waiting for the next crying episode to happen and trying my best to hide it from my husband when it does happen. Like when my son is out playing on the street I will keep watch for a kid coming to tell me he’s crying then I’ll answer the door before he rings the bell, go out and calm my son down and bring him back, all in the hope that my husband doesn’t even notice it has happened. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I feel bad for my son as I don’t think he can help it but we aren’t getting any help as he hasn’t been diagnosed yet. I also worry that kids won’t want to hang around with him anymore as he’s always crying. I don’t know what to do.

Parents

  • i doubt hes doing it for attention. as crying infront of others like friends and peers is still very humiliating for anyone and something anyone would want to avoid. if it was for attention it would be limited to only infront of you and the purpose would probably to get some sort of positive emotive response like a hug. but if hes breaking down infront of his peers then thats certainly not for attention.

    friends is always hard, and i have too many responses that sound too negative. its probably better if he had more nerdy gamer type friends as they are generally the better friendlier crowd that accepts everyone. depends on his interests too, youd have to work with his interests somehow i guess to avoid that fish out of water feel for him.

  • in reply to Caelus

    Thanks for replying. I don’t think he’s doing for attention either. Because of the way my husband get, it’s making my own home a very unpleasant place to be, to the point where I prefer not to be there at all. He plays with kids on the street, I don’t think he would have chosen them as friends if he met them in school but they are there and it is good for him to get out. Often he doesn’t want to play with them but I try and make him as I know my husband will just complain if he doesn’t.

    He is very much into computer games but we do try to get him off the screen as he can’t be doing that all the time. I just hope he’s ok as he gets older, I’m starting to worry about him. Last weekend his friends had to come and tell me 3 times he was crying. Any idea what age he might stop doing that (if ever)? It juts because I worry it will hold him back and he gets himself in a terrible state it isn’t pleasant to see.

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  • in reply to Caelus

    Thanks for replying. I don’t think he’s doing for attention either. Because of the way my husband get, it’s making my own home a very unpleasant place to be, to the point where I prefer not to be there at all. He plays with kids on the street, I don’t think he would have chosen them as friends if he met them in school but they are there and it is good for him to get out. Often he doesn’t want to play with them but I try and make him as I know my husband will just complain if he doesn’t.

    He is very much into computer games but we do try to get him off the screen as he can’t be doing that all the time. I just hope he’s ok as he gets older, I’m starting to worry about him. Last weekend his friends had to come and tell me 3 times he was crying. Any idea what age he might stop doing that (if ever)? It juts because I worry it will hold him back and he gets himself in a terrible state it isn’t pleasant to see.

Children
  • in reply to NAS73531

    ah thats probs problematic. he might not wanna play with them because perhaps they dont accept him maybe, or he doesnt feel accepted by them, so its probs weird being forced to be with them, like a person being around when they know they are not wanted.

    as much as i myself loved games and was a escape from everything it probably isnt good to be on them too much, trick is probs to find like minded people, and perhaps the other outdoorsy playing kids arnt like minded enough to him, perhaps thered be like, maybe some sort of games club or something he could join perhaps? like there was one in my town that i only heard of before it got shut down that used to have people go in and play yugioh tournaments together irl and stuff and play dungeons and dragons and so on together. probs might be better to find a place like that for him to find peeps to hang with?