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Meltdowns if I go out without her.

NAS66453

Hi, I'm new to this but am really struggling and hoping talking on here may help. My daughter is 15 and this last year with lockdown has been really tough, as I know it has been for everyone. We have a carer who is a godsend. Before COVID hit the carer would take her out and it would give me a break. Throughout the whole lockdown we didn't have the carer as she understandably didn't feel safe. As a result my daughter has become very clingy as has been by my side constantly for the last year. I can't even pop to the local shop without her having a full on meltdown. I'm at the point now I just want to go and spend some time with my friends but I can't handle the meltdowns. Her Dad's here, he can go out no problem but if I go out it's the end of the world. I always end up feeling guilty. 

  • You have to have your time alone you'll be better to her for it! Could it be a possible solution to have specific times a week where you - like clockwork - leave? Even if you don't have plans, one day in the afternoon and another evening just in the car if possible. If it's to the shop could you return every time with a very specific small item for her? It's the continuity that's important in small matters. As a mother myself, I know how difficult it is, but it actually makes you more able to give her what she needs when your needs are not threaded bare.

  • Hi NAS66453,

    Thank you for sharing this with our community. COVID is a challenging time, and I am glad you're sharing this with us.

    You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team. The helpline is the place to talk about your concern and find out some more information about your options. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Friday 10 am to 3 pm. Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls, and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser.

    Best,

    Eunice Mod