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Daughter in denial/refusal of starting periods and refusing to go to school

Nicola

Hi, I am new to the world of parenting a child with autism. My daughter is 12 and was only diagnosed is January this year. She struggles with major anxiety and school refusal and these have been a big part of her diagnosis.

She started her period last month (March) and although she knew this would be something that would happen to her, she has not taken it well or accepted it at all. She keeps telling me that she doesn’t want it and I feel completely helpless as I cannot do anything to take it away. She gets so upset about going to school and has missed school when she had her first period and is currently not at school as she is having her second period.

I would really appreciate some advice and support for her and myself.

thank you 

  • in reply to Peter
    Peter said:
    Forgive me if I'm stating the obvious but to stop periods altogether you have to ignore the 7 day break and keep taking the pill every day.

    I'm assuming (based on my own experience with this) the reference to breakthrough bleeding specifically means that this is the method of taking the pill that was being used. It doesn't work for everyone- it didn't work for me either, though progesterone-only pills intended to be taken daily like this do.

  • in reply to NAS90516

    contraception as in the pill? Taken normaly? Forgive me if I'm stating the obvious but to stop periods altogether you have to ignore the 7 day break and keep taking the pill every day.

    Failing that again consider a menstrual cup. Obviously it won't stop periods but from a sensory point of view it might be easier to tolerate than a tampon and will keep everything 'in' while she's outside till shes ready to empty it at home.

  • in reply to NAS90516

    We have tried contraception btw, but every time she has had much heavier and more painful breakthrough bleeds, and she refuses to try any alternative sanitary options such as period knickers, tampons etc etc. She pretty much just freezes until it's over, and says that the rest of the time the anxiety of waiting for the next one to tuen up never goes away.

  • Oh my goodness - this is my daughter - still refuses to accept it or leave the house when on her period one and a half years post starting them, I have been desperate to find somebody who actually understands, as doctors, school nurse etc cannot seem to get it, and I am at a loss about how to help her overcome this.

  • in reply to NAS24381
    NAS24381 said:
    She’s already asked what medicine there is to stop periods - not something we particularly want her going down the route of just yet.

    As I said before it's basically just the birth control pill but prescribed with a different frequency / strength. Which at 14 is not necessarily a bad idea depending on her interest in boys.

  • Hi, 

    i appreciate this post was 2 years ago however I’m going through this just now with my 14.5 year old daughter.. I’ve been talking to her for 2.5 years about periods so it’s nothing new in that regard. Physically, she’s not coping well with her first period and refusing to wear sanitary wear even though she has every option available to try and find out what she likes. She’s also refusing to leave the house or go to school when on her period. She’s about to have an ADHD assessment but wondering because of the anxiety that started a couple of years ago, whether this is also autism related?! She’s already asked what medicine there is to stop periods - not something we particularly want her going down the route of just yet. You’re 2 years on now, I wonder how your daughter is coping and what your journey has been? Thanks 

  • Is she in a lot of pain or just struggling to accept the change in her body? My friend had painful periods from the start and the doctor gave her some medication to take when she came on to ease the cramps. I forget what it was called though maybe began with an N. I don’t think it was a contraceptive but may be an option if she really can’t cope. I’m not a doctor so I’m not sure if there are age limits to prescribing them for medical problems. As for dealing with the change I guess it will depend whether she will eventually get used to them turning up every month after a while or whether the sudden change of them happening each month will always upset her a bit. Hard to know at the moment although maybe if you try and track her cycle from now it may help her to know if it’s on the way? I used to put a system of dots in my diary so I knew when to make sure to definitely have pads nearby and in my school bag (that was more to keep it from sneaking up on me because I can struggle with knowing how much time has passed!)

  • I can appreciate that. While puberty has never been a big deal for me I did regret getting facial / body hair and my voice breaking. your daughter may be comforted to know that medicine has found ways to suppress (or at least greatly reduce) periods through medication (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extended_cycle_combined_hormonal_contraceptive). While it may not be an option for her now it is likely to be in the future as it is generally considered safe in most adult women.