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Swearing

NAS72518

I have high functioning son who's 6. 

He's usually wellbehaved and social ( maybe too social sometimes) good at some things bad at others.

I've been very proud of him for not swearing, but he started with saying What the hell for a few days alot of times ( never in anger it just pops out of his mouth on any occasion) . Liie any parents do they say the usual thing that it's a bad word and dont use it or other things I ignore it.

I dont swear in english or basically never. When I get mad I swear in my own language which he doesnt understand. 

One day we went the playground and when we were heading home and to the gate we ran and I came first to the gate, he didnt like that and hates not to win. So he got angry and swore using the F word ( which I really hate and NEVER use ) ...I got really disappointed and told him off to not use that word ever again.

He didnt keep that word away.  He saw an edited peppa pig video and heard the word wtf and I took the tablet away immediately. And I told him it's not good word.

So now for a week he's been saying it. Never in anger just spontaneously. Its always like

We dont say what the f*** mummy 

Does the teddy say What the f**** 

Does the little girl say What the F**** , no mummy shes a good girl she doesnt say what the f**** 

I cant get the bad word go away mummy it wont go away 

I dream about what the f**** 

I'm a good boy I dont say what the f***

And so on and so on. He even wakes me up in the morning with telling me that we dont say what the f****

I LITERALLY cant deal!! When I tell him to use other words he just says " we wont say what the f**** we have to say other words like what the fudge instead and be a good boy" and then he can be quiet for a few min or hours and then seem upset that the F word wont go away. 

He cries when I tell him to not say it. He says he's teaching me not to say it. For me it's like now it's any excuse just say that horrible word. 

I avoid crowded places.if I see other children I get so anxious that he will slip up. I even had to let him not to go behind a family that was walking out of the station because I knew he would say " the little girl dont say what the f***" 

When we went home on the train there was alot of people on it and when it was all quiet he just said to me We dont say what the f**** mummy after being quiet for a while( he speaks his mind alot)Of course people listened and I just wanted to die. Hes been so wellbehaved for all our journeys on the train for many years but now all he wants to say the F word whenever he does.

It's gotten so bad because he is literally obsessed now. I just dont know what to do but to make him stay grounded for the rest of his swearing days. I cant do that but come on. Please help me here. He goes to a special needs school so I hope the teachers will tell him not to say that word.

I'm the end of my tether please give me some advice.

Parents

  • Hmm, I don't know but it may be an OCD thing. I was diagnosed with OCD at sixteen or thereabouts, and I used to spit a lot, which really irritated my step dad, who would be complaining about it constantly. I understood, but I couldn't explain why I had to do it, I knew it was an illogical OCD thing so I just had to put up with being told off for it. 

    Thing is though, when he left spitting stopped being one of the things I did as often. It wasn't that I was deliberately trying to anger him but maybe unconciously I was, I don't know. 

    All I know is that once I stopped getting in trouble about it I stopped doing it as much. It was very frustrating for me to not be able to stop and equally as frustrating that I suddenly could once he wasn't on my case about it, but based on that I'd recommend trying to ignore it as best you can, and see if that has any effect. 

    Good luck :) 

Reply

  • Hmm, I don't know but it may be an OCD thing. I was diagnosed with OCD at sixteen or thereabouts, and I used to spit a lot, which really irritated my step dad, who would be complaining about it constantly. I understood, but I couldn't explain why I had to do it, I knew it was an illogical OCD thing so I just had to put up with being told off for it. 

    Thing is though, when he left spitting stopped being one of the things I did as often. It wasn't that I was deliberately trying to anger him but maybe unconciously I was, I don't know. 

    All I know is that once I stopped getting in trouble about it I stopped doing it as much. It was very frustrating for me to not be able to stop and equally as frustrating that I suddenly could once he wasn't on my case about it, but based on that I'd recommend trying to ignore it as best you can, and see if that has any effect. 

    Good luck :) 

Children
  • in reply to Puff Pastry Hangman

    Thanks everyone for your replies. It's so nice to hear from other peoples opinions. Hes been swearing still and it never comes from anger though. It just pops out from his mouth when we sit quietly and watch something. He feels really bad about it and tells me he cant help it and that he promises to never use a bad word again...and seconds later it comes out again. 

    I just dont say anything about, I dont mention it. I just say ok then good that you wont say it. His grandma called on video chat today and he just turned shy and wanted to swear so bad but turned away ...he was ok for a little while though and started playing with his teddy bears and putting nappies on them and showing her them. His grandpa also wanted to speak to him. When my son said the F word grandpa wasnt phased at all and just laughed and told him to use something worse instead hmmm.....I think it's me who's more anxious of what other people think of him and I think he senses that.

    Tomorrow hes back to school and he said he's gonna miss me but I believe it will be good for him to see his other autistic friends. I just worry they will copy him but I guess these kids have heard alot during easter holiday. You cant put them in cotton wool there will be swearing everywhere .