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Nursery v Home - conflicting reports

littlewren

My son is still waiting to be assessed so I understand its somewhat speculative. 

The nursery dont seem to have any concerns with him at the moment. They say he is defiant - which is reflected by his refusal to potty train, something they cant get a breakthrough with either. He refused to leave the toilet area yesterday in protest which is something I deal with daily.

Is it possible for him to be able to cope better at nursery than at home? Or is it a sign that really its something im doing wrong and hes a normal child? They suggested I take parenting courses to help deal with his behaviour at home.  I will look into it I just feel like a failure especially since I have raised my daughter well without issue.

Any advice on similar situations would be appreciated.

Parents

  • I really feel for you as I struggled through years of this. The pre-school said that he was fine and they had no concerns, as did the first two years of teachers at school, finally in year 2 he was taught by an aware teacher who asked for a re-referral, and a year on (aged 8) we have our diagnosis. So, in answer to your question, yes they can behave differently in different circumstances. My son was very good, and respectful of authority which is why his problems went unnoticed for so long by anyone except myself. I knew it couldn't be my parenting as his younger brother was so different, but still experienced plenty of self doubt. Stick with your gut feelings and speak to as many people as you can  about your concerns, hopefully, eventually, you'get one across  one who sees your son the way you do.

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  • I really feel for you as I struggled through years of this. The pre-school said that he was fine and they had no concerns, as did the first two years of teachers at school, finally in year 2 he was taught by an aware teacher who asked for a re-referral, and a year on (aged 8) we have our diagnosis. So, in answer to your question, yes they can behave differently in different circumstances. My son was very good, and respectful of authority which is why his problems went unnoticed for so long by anyone except myself. I knew it couldn't be my parenting as his younger brother was so different, but still experienced plenty of self doubt. Stick with your gut feelings and speak to as many people as you can  about your concerns, hopefully, eventually, you'get one across  one who sees your son the way you do.

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