Its all out to get me.

For the past five or so years I've had my autism pretty much under control, to the point where it seems even my family have forgotten that I have it.  Which is just how I wanted it.

But recently its been flaring up again, now that I am moving onto GCSE's. Its not so much my behaviour but what goes on inside my head. Sensory/information overloads seem to be occuring much more frequently now, especially in maths. Several times the frustration I experience in these moments has caused me to start crying. Before this started I haven't cried since Primary school.

 Along with that my OCD has been gradually getting worse too. I had a few small ticks like keeping my door at the exact angle and small stuff like that. But now more ticks are appearing again.

I am slowly washing my hands for increasingly longer periods of time and I have to tap an exact number of times. I have to start walking up or down stairs with the right feet and my bag has to feel perfectly balanced. If I stub one toe I get this impulse to stub the other.

 Its really concerning for me because it is all getting in the way of my classwork. I am getting distracted more often too, which used to happen a lot when I was younger and not in control of my autistic traits and now it is coming back. My brain drifts off or goes asleep while I think I am listening, I'll look at the clock thinking Its only been a few seconds or minutes only to find that a good chunk of the lesson as flown by. I end up finding I have gaps in my memory where I think I've been focused but actually I've been drifting.

 

So yeah. My main points of concern:

.My autism and aspergers seems to be coming back (and getting worse) with a vengance.

.My OCD is getting worse.

.My focus is getting worse.

.My memory seems to be completely shot. (And I am still only a teenager.)

 

Anyone have any advice?

Parents
  • Although on one hand you are right about the ability to resit the modular units after units 1 and 2, if the worst happens, you are able to retake the course and then take a linear exam.  Yes, this is not ideal, but again, it means that there is a way to overcome the set back.  

    The current stress you are goign through is something many people go through NT or ASD.  Yes, the stress may come out differently for you than an NT person, but in some ways exam stress is not an ASD specific issue.  I say this because all people with extreme stress which was preventing them from being able to work at their normal level would be given the chance for the exame interventions (providing they had documentary evidence of their problems.)

    I understand what you mean about not wanting autism to rule your life, but EVERYBODY needs help sometimes.  ASD or NT.  Nobody can handle all of their stress without sharing the load.  And shoaring the load means talking about it with other people and letting them help you.  

    Are there activities that you do that help to give a "quiet mind".  Things such as reading, music, hobby, ...... If so, you need to give yourself plenty of opportunities to do these.

    Are you very friendly with others taking the same classes as you?  If so, perhaps you could work out a note sharing arrangement so that when you tune out you will still have access to the notes in the lessons.

    You could also ask if they would like a study group to help study for the exams together.  This could involve different people being responsible for different parts of the course and helping the others revise in that area.

    In terms of memory, I find studying by note cards help.  You can make yourself flash cards of the material (either virtual using something like StudyDroid or with physical notecards).  You can then give yourself a goal of looking at at least x cards per day. The making of the cards actually helps get the information into your memory.

    But please do not look at needing help as a failing.  Sometimes by getting the help early on it prevents you from needing it later.  Help is not a bad word, help is not an internal failing. Help is what all human beings need at some point in their life.  I have seen help save lives.

Reply
  • Although on one hand you are right about the ability to resit the modular units after units 1 and 2, if the worst happens, you are able to retake the course and then take a linear exam.  Yes, this is not ideal, but again, it means that there is a way to overcome the set back.  

    The current stress you are goign through is something many people go through NT or ASD.  Yes, the stress may come out differently for you than an NT person, but in some ways exam stress is not an ASD specific issue.  I say this because all people with extreme stress which was preventing them from being able to work at their normal level would be given the chance for the exame interventions (providing they had documentary evidence of their problems.)

    I understand what you mean about not wanting autism to rule your life, but EVERYBODY needs help sometimes.  ASD or NT.  Nobody can handle all of their stress without sharing the load.  And shoaring the load means talking about it with other people and letting them help you.  

    Are there activities that you do that help to give a "quiet mind".  Things such as reading, music, hobby, ...... If so, you need to give yourself plenty of opportunities to do these.

    Are you very friendly with others taking the same classes as you?  If so, perhaps you could work out a note sharing arrangement so that when you tune out you will still have access to the notes in the lessons.

    You could also ask if they would like a study group to help study for the exams together.  This could involve different people being responsible for different parts of the course and helping the others revise in that area.

    In terms of memory, I find studying by note cards help.  You can make yourself flash cards of the material (either virtual using something like StudyDroid or with physical notecards).  You can then give yourself a goal of looking at at least x cards per day. The making of the cards actually helps get the information into your memory.

    But please do not look at needing help as a failing.  Sometimes by getting the help early on it prevents you from needing it later.  Help is not a bad word, help is not an internal failing. Help is what all human beings need at some point in their life.  I have seen help save lives.

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