Its all out to get me.

For the past five or so years I've had my autism pretty much under control, to the point where it seems even my family have forgotten that I have it.  Which is just how I wanted it.

But recently its been flaring up again, now that I am moving onto GCSE's. Its not so much my behaviour but what goes on inside my head. Sensory/information overloads seem to be occuring much more frequently now, especially in maths. Several times the frustration I experience in these moments has caused me to start crying. Before this started I haven't cried since Primary school.

 Along with that my OCD has been gradually getting worse too. I had a few small ticks like keeping my door at the exact angle and small stuff like that. But now more ticks are appearing again.

I am slowly washing my hands for increasingly longer periods of time and I have to tap an exact number of times. I have to start walking up or down stairs with the right feet and my bag has to feel perfectly balanced. If I stub one toe I get this impulse to stub the other.

 Its really concerning for me because it is all getting in the way of my classwork. I am getting distracted more often too, which used to happen a lot when I was younger and not in control of my autistic traits and now it is coming back. My brain drifts off or goes asleep while I think I am listening, I'll look at the clock thinking Its only been a few seconds or minutes only to find that a good chunk of the lesson as flown by. I end up finding I have gaps in my memory where I think I've been focused but actually I've been drifting.

 

So yeah. My main points of concern:

.My autism and aspergers seems to be coming back (and getting worse) with a vengance.

.My OCD is getting worse.

.My focus is getting worse.

.My memory seems to be completely shot. (And I am still only a teenager.)

 

Anyone have any advice?

Parents
  • Have you spoken to anyone at school about this.  Do you have a good relationship with learners support? If so, TALK TO THEM.

    One of the things they do at my child's school to minimize stress is allow them to take tests in learners support (a room where those who need it are very familiar with).  Breaks can also be arranged.  These are reasonable adjustments which are allowed by exam boards.

    Another thing which may help you is to understand that if the worst was to happen and you were to fail some GCSE's, it will not be the end of the world as you would be allowed to retake them.  There are do overs in life and it is a myth that failing GCSE's means you are a failure.

    Also, you will find that there are six forms and even good universities which will accept lower scored for admitance from those on the spectrum because many with ASD do not "test" well but do brilliant work.  Perhaps if you confirm how sixth forms in your area handle this kind of thing it would take some pressure off.

    Remember, you are NOT the only one who feels this way.  A lot of people do, and not just people on the spectrum.  I am sure if you spoke to some of your peers you would find that they are worried abotu GCSE's and the future also.

Reply
  • Have you spoken to anyone at school about this.  Do you have a good relationship with learners support? If so, TALK TO THEM.

    One of the things they do at my child's school to minimize stress is allow them to take tests in learners support (a room where those who need it are very familiar with).  Breaks can also be arranged.  These are reasonable adjustments which are allowed by exam boards.

    Another thing which may help you is to understand that if the worst was to happen and you were to fail some GCSE's, it will not be the end of the world as you would be allowed to retake them.  There are do overs in life and it is a myth that failing GCSE's means you are a failure.

    Also, you will find that there are six forms and even good universities which will accept lower scored for admitance from those on the spectrum because many with ASD do not "test" well but do brilliant work.  Perhaps if you confirm how sixth forms in your area handle this kind of thing it would take some pressure off.

    Remember, you are NOT the only one who feels this way.  A lot of people do, and not just people on the spectrum.  I am sure if you spoke to some of your peers you would find that they are worried abotu GCSE's and the future also.

Children
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