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I GIVE UP...

ParentingAutism

I'm starting to give up. My 14 y.o daughter has so many issues going on right now and I'm sure some is bad parenting. I really need help. I've posted many things about them but now they are starting to worry me. 

She keeps damaging school property to get staples and pins. She was kicking chairs about in school. Doesn't go to lessons and sits in the hall chilling. She left school grounds. She loves to wander about everywhere so I let her go out with her sister (13 years) and she was collecting sticks and banging on the bins with them, smashing beer bottles and creating a mess in their local park with them. She keeps hiding in bushes and keep coming home with sweets, food and fizzy drinks they've been buying with her sister's money but it's too much sugar. (£15 worth in 2 days). When she's in the house she's fine and chilled.

I don't know what to do since her behaviour is changing and I've seen this before before she breaks up for the school holidays. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. She's changing. Most of her behaviour happens in school which confuses me since she loves school and is upping her time there. How can I help with the transition to the break? 

I'm sorry for ranting on but I'm sure the behaviour outside of school is because of my bad parenting. Any advice/opinions are amazing. 

Thanks x

  • ParentingAutism said:
    I'm sorry for ranting on but I'm sure the behaviour outside of school is because of my bad parenting

    No it really isnt, its entirely about her.  Everything you have described is frustrated teenager behaviour.  I wont scare you with what my 13 year old daughter got up to but this isnt even moving the needle!  It took her a long time to work through her issues with herself but now she has degrees and is doing a PhD.  Love her, take care of her, give her space when she needs it and boundaries when they are wise and keep on parenting.  Every bit of support you give her helps her find her way into adulthood.  

  • ParentingAutism said:
    She keeps damaging school property to get staples and pins.

    to do what with them?

    ...

    A lot of those sounds pretty typical for a frustrated teenager who doesn't have much of a social life outside of school. She's 14, she should be hanging out with friends and chasing boys. Autism doesn't stop her wanting those basic teenagery things. I'm guessing because she's in PRU she's been moved around schools a lot. Probably doesn't have any friends to hang out with even online. She probably love and resents her sister in equal measure because with out her she'd probably be that much more lonely but at the same time I'm guessing her sister gets to have a much more normal life?

    Again her relationship with school is probably love / hate. There are people to befriend at school, things to do. But school is set up for her to fail there, academically and I wouldn't be surprised socially too. So it is immensely frustrating for her. I sounds like every day school is becoming less and less bearable for her while at the same time home life she finds suffocating, so she's trapped between world that she feels she doesn't fit in.

    ... As for eating lots of sugar and being generally noisy ... she's a teenager, this is normal.