Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I'm new here and would really appreciate some help or advice. My daughter is 15 and we've just started the process of diagnosis for ASD. Over the years when she has struggled to cope with life she has had chronic tummy problems, pulled her hair and cut herself. She is currently controlling those urges but has recently displayed new behaviour which I have not seen before. As she finds it hard to be around many people, lockdown suited her fine and the return to school has been overwhelming. In the last few days, once home she has become very upset (sobbing, hitting herself, saying she can't go on) and then going into a trance-like state where she is unable to speak and barely move, after which she is exhausted, even the next day. Up until today she has made it into school, but this morning she managed to get up and dressed then stood at the top of the stairs, weeping and looking almost asleep, so I told her to go back to bed and she has been sleeping ever since. Obviously as a parent it is very distressing to see your child so unhappy, but also this new "shutting down" behaviour is quite frightening. Afterwards she said she could hear me but it was kind of muffled and far away. I am at a loss to know what to do and how to help her. I am waiting for a call from the SENCO at her school to see what they can suggest to help her, but in the meantime I am concerned she is retreating inside herself more and more. I would be grateful for any thoughts or suggestions.
Oh... I would sort out those chronic stomach problems as soon as possible. If she's experiencing trouble with digestion it could be anything. I have a severe Gluten/grain intolerance. My son has a severe egg allergy but gluten is fine. These things kept me from being able to learn, and gluten can be deadly if left untreated after 20 years. These allergies get worse with time. I got so sick at one point around 17 I was unable to function for 3 months. It can take some time to get a proper diagnostic for these things. In my 20's my father had suggested a temporary immediate solution: pair down my diet for a few days to very simple things which no one has allergies to: rice, plain chicken, pears, carrots maybe. Then several days later try introducing one thing. And one other the next day and so on.
As for the 'brain fog' this happens to me when I'm emotionally overloaded, which can come from sensory overload - I feel like I go into survival mode. Extra-sensory experiences make me feel invaded, violated, assaulted. It's so compassionate you helped her to sleep it off. The stark contrast between the peaceful and breathable space many of us seem to feel with Covid versus suddenly being thrown into a 'herd' and social explosion. I wouldn't cope very well either. The lights can be oppressive, a billion frequencies bouncing off all the walls, too many conversations all at once, the psychological demands, the creepy social nuances, feeling suffocated from too much all at once... is there a way for her school to help her ease into this transition?
Thank you for taking the time to reply, and in so much detail.
Her tummy issues were a few years ago. Currently seem to be okay but I will bear your advice in mind.
Thanks for sharing your experience of "brain fog". Although it was alarming to witness, I feel I understand it better now and that it's not uncommon and it will pass. I think you describe very well how my daughter must feel at school. I am waiting to hear back from the SENCO about what they can put in place for her to help ease the transition. I am also looking into whether I can realistically educate her at home.
Regarding the "brain fog", have you found anything in particular that helps you come back from it?