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Autistic behaviours or Misbehaviour??

Shannon

My little brother who is 7 is currently going through the diagnosis for autism. He is cared for by my mam and when she is working he stays with his grandma and grandad. I try to help out as much as can and although I feel massively guilty for saying this, sometimes I really don't like looking after him. I have researched, my mam has told me a lot from the psychologist who has been working with my brother and I've also joined nas forum\group so I understand and empathise that my brother has behaviours that are due to him being autistic, however some behaviours I feel are just lack of respect and misbehaviour. I know my mam works very hard but I do feel lack of routine, boundaries and discipline is a massive part of some behaviours but also feel like a lot of people in my family let bad behaviour slip "because he has autism". Could anyone give me some advice on what sort of behaviours will not associate with autism and the importance of discipline, routine and boundaries and how best tBlusho put them in play for a person with autism. Thanks very much for reading and any reply would be greatly appreciated :) 

Parents

  • I think one of the hardest challenges is not being triggered yourself from the behaviors/emotions and over-reacting in the moment. This will only make things worse.

    This may seem impossible at first and no one is saying it is easy but becoming aware of the behaviors as they happen is key. A knee-jerk reaction or escalation in response to the behaviors does not work. 

    It may take practice to become more alert to be able to see the behaviors/meltdowns coming and to get yourself into a position of not reacting or escalating the situation but to remain calm and collected to deal with it. If your first instinct is to loose your temper this needs to be resisted. He needs to see calmness as a response rather than an oppositional response and through time the behaviors should reduce.  

    For bad behavior I think the same approach can be taken although you will need to work-out what works for him to correct or lessen it. Structure/routine with set times for school work, exercise, meal-times, free time/play segments may work to lessen bad behaviors or to let him know he could lose some of his free-time or gaming for example if it is indeed bad behavior. Working together as a team, one step at a time, is probably the best approach rather than a harsh regime with unrealistic goals or unworkable or detrimental punishments. 

    With Parental employment commitments, schooling, child-minding and so on it's not easy so my only advice would be to do what works for your family and maybe work-out the best routine to find your particular family harmony.

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  • I think one of the hardest challenges is not being triggered yourself from the behaviors/emotions and over-reacting in the moment. This will only make things worse.

    This may seem impossible at first and no one is saying it is easy but becoming aware of the behaviors as they happen is key. A knee-jerk reaction or escalation in response to the behaviors does not work. 

    It may take practice to become more alert to be able to see the behaviors/meltdowns coming and to get yourself into a position of not reacting or escalating the situation but to remain calm and collected to deal with it. If your first instinct is to loose your temper this needs to be resisted. He needs to see calmness as a response rather than an oppositional response and through time the behaviors should reduce.  

    For bad behavior I think the same approach can be taken although you will need to work-out what works for him to correct or lessen it. Structure/routine with set times for school work, exercise, meal-times, free time/play segments may work to lessen bad behaviors or to let him know he could lose some of his free-time or gaming for example if it is indeed bad behavior. Working together as a team, one step at a time, is probably the best approach rather than a harsh regime with unrealistic goals or unworkable or detrimental punishments. 

    With Parental employment commitments, schooling, child-minding and so on it's not easy so my only advice would be to do what works for your family and maybe work-out the best routine to find your particular family harmony.

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