Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 33 replies
  • Subscribers 89 subscribers
  • Views 7108 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

HOW DO YOU CALM A VIOLENT TEEN???

ParentingAutism
over 3 years ago

How do you calm down a violent teen? 

My 14 y.o can become extremely aggressive and violent and nothing can calm her down...

I need help since I have no clue how to keep her and my other kids safe... 

This morning she became distressed when her sister (13 years) sprayed something in the bedroom. My teen (with autism) then told her not to and started closing the curtains in their bedroom (which they share). My other teen then opened  the curtains and the window then hell kicked off...

My teen (with autism) shut them again, then my other daughter told her not to. 

Anyways.... they started fighting and I tried splitting them up since they were screaming, kicking, punching, and when I thought is was over, it started again... But my autistic daughter grabbed a pair of scissors and wanted to stab her sister with it... 

All hell broke loose and I managed to take the scissors away from her. But how do I stop them from fighting next time? How do I keep my son and daughters safe? How do I calm her down? 

Any help is very much appreciated. I'm lost and at my wits end... 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    I'm going to be the unpopular opinion in the room and say that violence should be punished, not rewarded.  You won't be doing her/them any favours by letting them think that that behaviour will fly in the real world.

    That said, my older sisters were similar to what you described,  worse even.  Practically every day would start with an incident like the one above.  I don't really have any advice for you, as this continued until my older sisters eventually left home - there was seemingly nothing my parents could do, punishment, appeasement, nothing worked.  It destroyed their marriage in the end.  OFC we couldn't afford to move somewhere they could each have their own space, so if that's an option go for it I guess.

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    I'm going to be the unpopular opinion in the room and say that violence should be punished, not rewarded.  You won't be doing her/them any favours by letting them think that that behaviour will fly in the real world.

    That said, my older sisters were similar to what you described,  worse even.  Practically every day would start with an incident like the one above.  I don't really have any advice for you, as this continued until my older sisters eventually left home - there was seemingly nothing my parents could do, punishment, appeasement, nothing worked.  It destroyed their marriage in the end.  OFC we couldn't afford to move somewhere they could each have their own space, so if that's an option go for it I guess.

Children