HOW DO YOU CALM A VIOLENT TEEN???

Most scents have toxic chemicals in them, the particles from these chemicals go into our airways into our lungs and the gut. For someone like me, many scented items will make me feel as though I've been punched in the face. It's severely violent. Many will immediately cause indigestion - a physiological response, not just psychological. Noise and frequency the same. Like someone bashed my head into a wall. I can't explain how physically abused I end up feeling in noisy and over-scented environments. 

Regardless. I bet your autistic daughter wouldn't mind sleeping in the cubby under the stairs if it was a spot no one else was allowed into. It sounds like she feels violated daily. Add how much girls have to navigate with new hormones at this age.

My mother remarried and had more kids when I was 13. I spent my entire high school never going home, adopted a friends parents and then moved out at 17. Since, I have learned the ethics behind how to be respectful/ afford respect and create boundaries. I started by identifying the difference between control vs connexion. Practiced an internal monologue of affirming the worth of others around me (which helped affirm my own and expect better standards from others), and followed advice to create safety. If your autistic daughter spends her life feeling trapped and constantly attacked, then she won't thrive, she won't be able to learn - it's like taking a seedling out of a greenhouse too early. It sounds like you really care about your children!! If you can create a protected space for her, most likely much tension can ease.

Most scents have toxic chemicals in them, the particles from these chemicals go into our airways into our lungs and the gut. For someone like me, many scented items will make me feel as though I've been punched in the face. It's severely violent. Many will immediately cause indigestion - a physiological response, not just psychological. Noise and frequency the same. Like someone bashed my head into a wall. I can't explain how physically abused I end up feeling in noisy and over-scented environments. 

Regardless. I bet your autistic daughter wouldn't mind sleeping in the cubby under the stairs if it was a spot no one else was allowed into. It sounds like she feels violated daily. Add how much girls have to navigate with new hormones at this age.

My mother remarried and had more kids when I was 13. I spent my entire high school never going home, adopted a friends parents and then moved out at 17. Since, I have learned the ethics behind how to be respectful/ afford respect and create boundaries. I started by identifying the difference between control vs connexion. Practiced an internal monologue of affirming the worth of others around me (which helped affirm my own and expect better standards from others), and followed advice to create safety. If your autistic daughter spends her life feeling trapped and constantly attacked, then she won't thrive, she won't be able to learn - it's like taking a seedling out of a greenhouse too early. It sounds like you really care about your children!! If you can create a protected space for her, most likely much tension can ease.