Published on 12, July, 2020
How do you calm down a violent teen?
My 14 y.o can become extremely aggressive and violent and nothing can calm her down...
I need help since I have no clue how to keep her and my other kids safe...
This morning she became distressed when her sister (13 years) sprayed something in the bedroom. My teen (with autism) then told her not to and started closing the curtains in their bedroom (which they share). My other teen then opened the curtains and the window then hell kicked off...
My teen (with autism) shut them again, then my other daughter told her not to.
Anyways.... they started fighting and I tried splitting them up since they were screaming, kicking, punching, and when I thought is was over, it started again... But my autistic daughter grabbed a pair of scissors and wanted to stab her sister with it...
All hell broke loose and I managed to take the scissors away from her. But how do I stop them from fighting next time? How do I keep my son and daughters safe? How do I calm her down?
Any help is very much appreciated. I'm lost and at my wits end...
Your daughter with autism needs her own space completely to herself, possibly her own bedroom, because having so many people around her who change everything in her environment will cause her to become distressed and agitated. She might do better in a routine environment where things are predictable and she can choose where things go.
Your daughter might have sensory issues to people, smells and light, so having her sister around is difficult, because she spray smelly things around the room, and she opens the curtains to shine bright light at your daughter, which is inconsiderate to your daughter's sensory issues.
Her sister should not have kept "pushing" your daughter into a distressful state, by trying to dominate the room and doing everything she wanted to do, and spraying anything she wanted to spray, and continually trying to open the curtains when your daughter wanted them shut. Next time her sister wants to do something, she should ASK your daughter if it's okay if she sprays something in the room, or if it's okay to open the curtains, before doing them. That would be respectful your daughter and her sensory issues.
I don't believe things would have gotten so out of hand, if her sister understood your daughter has sensory issues, and if they have to share a room together, to ask each other if it's okay before trying to do something. These should be rules set in place so your daughter will have a routine environment where she can trust and rely in the people around her.