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10 year old girl new ASD diagnosis, how do we understand, support and explain

NAS71292

Our 10 yr old daughter has been newly diagnosed as fitting the criteria for ASD.

We have been watching lots of YouTube videos (mainly American), we have read a book called "Aspergirls", we have been looking through this and other websites, but we are finding it all a bit overwhelming.

It feels like we are trying to climb a mountain of information, a lot of what we are reading does not seem to "fit" with our daughter, we are not even sure if we should tell her she is autistic for fear she will label herself, or others will label her and "give up trying"

A lot of what we have read can be quite bleak and depressing and we are worried about how we explain to her about Autism.

I have seen that there is a course for professionals to support parents "Teen Life licensed user training", is there a similar course for parents to support their children?

Symptomatically she does not come across as "abnormal", she bright, and eloquent, but she really struggles making and maintaining friends, seems to have a hard time seeing things from others perspective

Our daughter has really struggled with isolation during this lockdown, and it seems her self esteem and usual resilience has waned.

We are worried about our secondary school choices in light of the new diagnosis. We are engaging with her current school (she is in Year 6) for support but everything feels is strained and disjointed with a lack of continuity due to COVID restrictions.

Just reaching out as our mind is a muddle, hoping someone can give some practical advice. 

   

 

 

Parents

  • Hi 

    I have just signed up i to this site and came across your post first. 

    both my wife and I had to read it twice to make sure we hadn't written it s our situation at the time of the diagnosis seemed to be exactly the same. 

    We went into over drive finding out all of the information that we could to understand what it meant and what we could do to help our at the time 10 year old daughter. 

    Here are a few things that we have done that may help.

    we read as many of the books as we could and we still continue to learn.

    We joined the local autism support group facebook site

    We spoke to the school SEN co-ordinator that has been brilliant.

    We are on a 6 week course with cygnet parenting which is through Banardos 

    Through the combination of the above we have also found that we can get some financial help through DLA (disability Living Allowence) we did not consider our daughter to be classed as disabled but according to the paperwork we have been given this to help towards the extra things that will crop up. this benefit is not means tested which means that we can claim it even though I have a god job. this benefit is also back dated to the date of the diagnosis.

    We have also been advised to apply for carers allowance.

    Our Daughter is very intelligent and is doing well at a mainstream girls school now. we were worried that she wouldnt get on well with the people at school, but she has made a good group of friends that look after her. 

    She struggles with the social aspects of life.

    we have found coping mechanisms for her to practise and things like fidget toys to assist with her anxiety's.

    We have found things like socks without seems that  help with the sensory issues. 

    We felt the same as you seem to be feeling when we first found out and didnt know how to approach the subject with her, but chose to be straight forward with her. we let her read the diagnosis letter and helped her with any questions she had at the ime. where we didnt have an answer for her we said we would find out together so she did her own research as well. 

    We have found that alot of content online is either very medical or negative so we have strived to find the positive information and made her realise that the things she can do due to this condition are her super powers. e.g. her ability to study, her memory, her ability to see and solve problems in different way. etc. 

    I hope something within this message has helped in some way. 

     

  • in reply to Sholness

    Thank you so much for replying,

    It is so nice for my wife and I to hear from you, and we so appreciate your taking the time to write something.

    It is reassuring to know that other people are feeling, or have felt the same way that we are.

    Thank you.

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