Introduction

Hi there,

She's probably coming to terms with the diagnosis - and it does stir up a lot of mixed feelings. Even though it was a relief for me, there was still another side of my psyche playing "devils advocate" thinking I was mis-diagnosed, maybe I'd "come across" as autistic in my assessment because I was tired..... and how it wasn't fair..... all those kinds of things. It can take a while - and I mean a while - for those assessed to accept an autism diagnosis which confirms there is a very different way of seeing the world which will never change and that doing some things (like social stuff), which others (non-autistic) take for granted, will take a little bit more work. 

I'm 5 months into my diagnosis and I'm still figuring it out. There's no quick way to work through this, I'm realising I'm having to re-learn things, and in some cases, learn things for the first time. 

It will be a case of figuring it out together - and there will be misunderstandings because your ways of seeing the world are slightly different. I'm not a parent but from my own experience in disclosing to other people.... the same rules still apply, honesty, openness, letting someone know you're there for them, knowing when to "be there" and when to "step back", be forgiving if you're not always on the same wavelength.  My sense is that it goes both ways and those things, are a just little bit more important when working with the news of the diagnosis.

If there is some kind of aftercare support from the organisation that provided the assessment then allow your daughter to make use of it when she's ready. I've had three sessions with a psychologist (something that was anathema to me years ago, because admitting I needed help was weakness) and they have been a huge help to me. I've got strategies, understanding and ideas on how to work with the diagnosis which gives me a better outlook on life and a reason to be more forgiving and accepting of myself and my odd foibles. 

On books:

I'd try Jessica Kingsley publishers which has a treasure trove of lived-experience books. They cover several topics, including autism, written for audiences of parents and also children/teens. 

https://uk.jkp.com/pages/about-us

Anything recommended or written by Temple Grandin https://www.templegrandin.com/ (scientist and autistic) is a pretty safe bet. Tony Attwood is another expert specialising in autism http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ - some of his books can be heavy going - although I liked "Been There, Done That, Try This" https://uk.jkp.com/products/been-there-done-that-try-this which is very accessible. 

Hope this helps

Ethan

Hi there,

She's probably coming to terms with the diagnosis - and it does stir up a lot of mixed feelings. Even though it was a relief for me, there was still another side of my psyche playing "devils advocate" thinking I was mis-diagnosed, maybe I'd "come across" as autistic in my assessment because I was tired..... and how it wasn't fair..... all those kinds of things. It can take a while - and I mean a while - for those assessed to accept an autism diagnosis which confirms there is a very different way of seeing the world which will never change and that doing some things (like social stuff), which others (non-autistic) take for granted, will take a little bit more work. 

I'm 5 months into my diagnosis and I'm still figuring it out. There's no quick way to work through this, I'm realising I'm having to re-learn things, and in some cases, learn things for the first time. 

It will be a case of figuring it out together - and there will be misunderstandings because your ways of seeing the world are slightly different. I'm not a parent but from my own experience in disclosing to other people.... the same rules still apply, honesty, openness, letting someone know you're there for them, knowing when to "be there" and when to "step back", be forgiving if you're not always on the same wavelength.  My sense is that it goes both ways and those things, are a just little bit more important when working with the news of the diagnosis.

If there is some kind of aftercare support from the organisation that provided the assessment then allow your daughter to make use of it when she's ready. I've had three sessions with a psychologist (something that was anathema to me years ago, because admitting I needed help was weakness) and they have been a huge help to me. I've got strategies, understanding and ideas on how to work with the diagnosis which gives me a better outlook on life and a reason to be more forgiving and accepting of myself and my odd foibles. 

On books:

I'd try Jessica Kingsley publishers which has a treasure trove of lived-experience books. They cover several topics, including autism, written for audiences of parents and also children/teens. 

https://uk.jkp.com/pages/about-us

Anything recommended or written by Temple Grandin https://www.templegrandin.com/ (scientist and autistic) is a pretty safe bet. Tony Attwood is another expert specialising in autism http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ - some of his books can be heavy going - although I liked "Been There, Done That, Try This" https://uk.jkp.com/products/been-there-done-that-try-this which is very accessible. 

Hope this helps

Ethan