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Overwhelmed

Clare

Parent of an autistic 7yr old. Feeling overwhelmed and lost of how best to support her. She’s currently at school as generally enjoys lockdown with less children and learning pressures on her. Attendance at the beginning of the school year was low though. Still refuses to get up in the mornings and it’s a constant battle to get her up dressed and breakfast- generally 2 hrs. Just before we’d have to leave she might suddenly say I want to go and then we have to rush around getting her ready and being late. Or other days total refusal. This is often the case of leaving the house for any reason such as a walk. Refuses to dress etc. We also have screaming when things aren’t to her expectations. Any advice

Parents

  • Pressure is possibly the key word here. I found that changing my expectations and taking the pressure off my son to do things that need to be done in the timeframe that most would do them, is a game changer. Once I started reassuring him that he could take his time doing things in his own way that helped him feel safe and calm, and that if he was late for school it didn't matter, or that if he didn't want to go it didn't matter, made a huge difference for the better. Control is a big issue when feeling overwhelmed. So once my son felt more in control, he was able to get on with things quicker and calmer. Maybe speak to the school and explain so that they know you may be late some days. That also takes the pressure off you, because your daughter maybe picking up on your stress (if you are stressed about it) too. It can be so overwhelming being a parent. But you are not alone, and things will get better. You can do it Slight smile

  • in reply to NAS71069

    Thank you for your responses and it feels good just to connect. I tried the not going in if she didn’t want to and also giving her more choice about time in nov/dec but it became more stressful as she then wanted to go in at lunch time but would spend another 2 hrs trying to get ready later in the day too with it all being too overwhelming for her. By the time we got to school she only had 30 minutes before home time. The whole day began to feel difficult then. I decided we couldn’t go through that again and considered homeschooling or maybe mainstream isn’t suitable. Since homeschool beginning of jan she still refuses to engage in any learning and even doing any art. She started back at school this week and first few day were great but I see the reluctance again. I’m sure it’s a problem a lot of parents face about what education is best for their individual child. It’s the constant negotiations and resistance  

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  • in reply to NAS71069

    Thank you for your responses and it feels good just to connect. I tried the not going in if she didn’t want to and also giving her more choice about time in nov/dec but it became more stressful as she then wanted to go in at lunch time but would spend another 2 hrs trying to get ready later in the day too with it all being too overwhelming for her. By the time we got to school she only had 30 minutes before home time. The whole day began to feel difficult then. I decided we couldn’t go through that again and considered homeschooling or maybe mainstream isn’t suitable. Since homeschool beginning of jan she still refuses to engage in any learning and even doing any art. She started back at school this week and first few day were great but I see the reluctance again. I’m sure it’s a problem a lot of parents face about what education is best for their individual child. It’s the constant negotiations and resistance  

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