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What Can I Do To Make It Right Without Saying Sorry?

NAS66392

I am on the autism spectrum and I have been bad last night and today. Last night I did not want to watch Dancing On Ice and I was told by my Dad in a stern manner to come downstairs to watch it to make my Mum and him happy. I take fluxoetine once a day and I am sure that that is the reason I have stopped emotionally reacting to when my Mum is stern with me, but because Dad rarely does it it can make me emotional especially since I tend to freeze and flight because I struggle to articulate my feelings. I am very quick to feel embarrassment and shame when I do something wrong so I went downstairs to watch the programme with my parents. When I feel those feelings I tend to ruminate so I was trying to keep that and any embarrassment or shame under control, plus I do not watch many ice skating shows so I was trying to understand it so I was very quiet. As a reuslt, I am pretty sure I still upset them even when I was failing at trying not to. I feel terrible but I know that they are pretty fed up with me, especially as I bought crafts that arrived today for me using an Amazon voucher they gave me for Christmas which makes it look like I care more about myself than anyone else. 

I really want to say that I am sorry but I know they are sick to death of hearing those words. I don't want to be a narcissist, I just can be very thoughtless because it feels like my brain cannot take on as much things as everyone else does in their brain. I don't want to be especially as we are stuck in lockdown together. I feel terrible that I hurt them and I want to make this right. What can I do to make amends? 

Parents

  • I don't think you did anything wrong. You watched the program with them to make them happy. They should know it's OK for you to be quiet sometimes. If your parents are upset by you being quiet/non-communicative then remind them directly that you still like them but you just need some calm quiet time. When you're in a better mood you could do something nice like hug them/make a cup of tea idk, people seem to like that.

  • in reply to BassFace

    I still though because when I was trying to keep control of my thoughts by being quiet I looked upset when I was not. I did try to make a cup of tea last night but then I blurted out (should have kept it in!) why I do not have as much interest in Dancing on Ice than RuPaul's Drag Race UK and Strictly Come Dancing (which I do watch with family), and they got upset because they want me in supported accomodation but worry that I will not be able to be around other people. 

  • in reply to NAS66392

    I'm sorry I know it's horrible when people misinterpret you being quiet. This caused some big arguments in my family because my sister's husband thought I hated him for years, but I did like  him, I just never knew how to act around him. Do your best to explain afterwards when you think there's been a misunderstanding, and hopefully they will get better at understanding you. It's their job as well as yours so don't beat yourself up. :)

  • in reply to BassFace

    Thank you. People assume I think or act in one way when really it's another and it is really annoying. I will try to explain, although it's difficult to verbally articulate this. 

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