Help, really struggling with school

We are only two days into the week and it's two bad days at school for my son.

 

Mon- recieved phone call from support teacher in respite syaing awful day in some lessons, not sitting down, telling his teachers he's not doing the work, walking out of lessons. Didn't turn up at the end of the day to see her, to hand over his report card.

When i questioned my son about this he just says "i don't know"(which makes it difficult to understand the situation).

Tue-recieved phone call from same support teacher saying shocking day agian, similar to Mon behaviour. But their has been an allegation of racist behaviour from my son. Although she did not have any facts that she could tell me about. Other than something had happened and we will be called into school for a meeting with head of year and local police officer attached to the school????????

When we questioned our son about this allegations, he says he doesn't know what their on about, he hasn't said anything racist. His exact words"dun no". We know our son knows that making hurtful remarks about other people is not acceptable.

Support teacher is also saying that my sons time in respite class is now coming to an end, his behaviour has not improved during this 3/4months in respite. She feels the only option is to hand him over to head of year(which i think it's looking like him being excluded at some point).

She also said that my does know right from wrong but he is making choices to behave in certain ways and some of his behaviours he can control.

I know my son knows right from wrong, but have read through info relating to recommendations from the school psychologist, that my son lacks social communication skills(SCS)-aspegers. Is this part of his condition that his judgement is impaiared because of his lack of SCS or is he using this to be seen as the class clown(again seeking acceptence)from peers, this is a commom theme through our sons life.  

He does not act like this at home and he did not act like this(no where near to the extent in primary, we were never called in school to discuss his beahaivour or at parents eveing)at primary, i still have all his reprots.

But since he went to secondry school, it been a nightmare for him.

Report card after report card, meetings about his beahviuor, regularly i get phone calls at work from teachers in class asking me to speak to during class for his behaviuor they cannot control(is this right????)

Yet they have placed him in respite, concerned enough to have him see the school psychologist, the psychologist recommendations are SCS, support in the class room, support to settle into lessons. The school head of SEN was saying, no resources here, not enough staff there etc.

I have mentioned to the support teacher,that at home he spending alot of time in his room when he is in playing with his lego.

She said she as observed him in and around the school, she does not see a boy who is reverting into himself. As she very often see him with a group of friends, larking around, hitting each other and getting upto mischief???????

One thing i do not want to turn into is a parent who wraps her son up in cotton wool, because of the term lacks SCS has been brought into the forum. It will not do my son any favours in the long term, but i feel i am having to defend him(which i do see as my job, as his mum).

I suppose because of my lack of full understanding of my son's lack of SCS, lack of knowing what makes my son tick(at this moment) and lack of insight to what is actually going on in school. I actually feel really useless for him. 

           

Parents
  • Hello,

    Am new to this site as have been waiting for a diagnosis for my son for a long time now.  He has seen the ed psych through school, who I was told would do an assessment, only to have that assessment be positive, but be told that I need an appointment with a clinical psychologist for him... I have know for years that things have been wrong with and for him, but it has been hard to isolate exactly what, as for a long time specialists (and I) thought he was coping with depression due to my divorce and difficulties with his father.  We also lived in France until this summer and I now know that there was little chance of him being diagnosed with Aspergers as the official figures state it is prevalent in only 4.5 children in every 10,000!!  This clearly shows that it isn't being diagnosed, but it doesn't stop me feeling guilty for not realising earlier or knowing what I know now about it!

    It was such a relief to read about all your experiences and know that I am not the only one who has struggled with school due to my son's behaviour.  They are treating him as if it is BESD with no special provisions for when things go wrong apart from the current threat of exclusion for 6 weeks!!!  From reading through the information on the NAS site I know that I can challenge this, but thank God for everyone else on the internet willing to share and help each other as well!

    Good luck to you all :)

     

Reply
  • Hello,

    Am new to this site as have been waiting for a diagnosis for my son for a long time now.  He has seen the ed psych through school, who I was told would do an assessment, only to have that assessment be positive, but be told that I need an appointment with a clinical psychologist for him... I have know for years that things have been wrong with and for him, but it has been hard to isolate exactly what, as for a long time specialists (and I) thought he was coping with depression due to my divorce and difficulties with his father.  We also lived in France until this summer and I now know that there was little chance of him being diagnosed with Aspergers as the official figures state it is prevalent in only 4.5 children in every 10,000!!  This clearly shows that it isn't being diagnosed, but it doesn't stop me feeling guilty for not realising earlier or knowing what I know now about it!

    It was such a relief to read about all your experiences and know that I am not the only one who has struggled with school due to my son's behaviour.  They are treating him as if it is BESD with no special provisions for when things go wrong apart from the current threat of exclusion for 6 weeks!!!  From reading through the information on the NAS site I know that I can challenge this, but thank God for everyone else on the internet willing to share and help each other as well!

    Good luck to you all :)

     

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