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Managing aggression - help!

legomum

My 6 1/2 year old with HFA is having a lot of tantrums when things don't go the way he wants or when he cannot have his own way. To an extent he's always done this but he seems to be going through a particularly bad patch and we haven't been able to work out why. We are trying various things to manage this e.g. working on him recognising his feelings and trying to teach him what to do when he starts to feel angry etc. (see post on other thread).

Because he is so violent while he is having a tantrum, (attacking myself, his Dad and his siblings) we take him to his room until he has calmed down. However for 10 mins or so he throws, rips and breaks things and if anyone goes in to try to stop him he physically attacks them.I don't like to just let him do this because he could injure himself. Also he shares the room with his brother and will often target his things. Our house is quite small so there is nowhere else he could go. I have tried the garden but he throws things at the windows!

I have told his brother I will replace anything he breaks and am thinking of going into the room armed with a large cushion to protect myself (!) while I keep an eye on him until he calms down! After a few minutes it's over and he's back to being his normal lovable self.

Please can someone give me some advice on how to handle this?

Parents

  • There are other posts on challenging behaviour - you might find some help there.  I recommend the book 'The Explosive Child' by Ross Greene.  His collaborative problem solving approach is great - but you might need something else in the first instance to get limit-setting more firmly in place.

    Have a look at the book '1,2,3 Magic' (its on Amazon).  We successfully implemented this approach with our son who was very similar to your description of your son except he wasnt physically violent but extremely verbally challenging.

    You might also want to look at how you can help him to emotionally regulate himself.  Usually when a 'meltdown' occurs its because a child has been confronted with a challenge that he cant handle because he lacks the thinking competencies to handle it.  You can also help your child to develop these thinking competencies. More about this on my blog http://notnigellanotjamie.blogspot.com

    Zoe

     

Reply

  • There are other posts on challenging behaviour - you might find some help there.  I recommend the book 'The Explosive Child' by Ross Greene.  His collaborative problem solving approach is great - but you might need something else in the first instance to get limit-setting more firmly in place.

    Have a look at the book '1,2,3 Magic' (its on Amazon).  We successfully implemented this approach with our son who was very similar to your description of your son except he wasnt physically violent but extremely verbally challenging.

    You might also want to look at how you can help him to emotionally regulate himself.  Usually when a 'meltdown' occurs its because a child has been confronted with a challenge that he cant handle because he lacks the thinking competencies to handle it.  You can also help your child to develop these thinking competencies. More about this on my blog http://notnigellanotjamie.blogspot.com

    Zoe

     

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