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non attending school

astill66

can any one give me some help and advice please , my 15 yr old son has aspergers and refuses to attend school i have come to the end of my tether with him and dont know which way to turn now, i also have education board on my case now please help

  • Hi, 

    My 14 yr old son has not been attending school since last year. He just stopped going. The anxiety was too much - trying to fit in with his peers was exhausting.  He was only diagnosed this year. He used to have many friends and seemed  happy enough but he could no longer keep up the effort to cope with socialising.

     

    I home school him now and find that he educates himself very well. His creative side is now allowed to flourish. It was as if school was too restricting.

    In my opinion, school isn't for everybody. It's as if the system aims to fit all children into one box without any consideration for their differences.

     

    Good luck!

     

  • Hello

    Sorry to hear of your difficulties.  Our son was out of school for 3.5 years because we couldnt find a placement that appropriately met his needs.  We tried homeschooling and it didnt work for us - its not for everyone (hats off to those who do manage it).

    I agree with Johnsmum that there must be something going on at school thats making it unbearable for him.  Have you tried asking him about it?  Perhaps in a way that makes it clear that you arent putting any pressure on him to return to school, but would like to understand what it is about school that's troubling him, so that you can help.

    Does your son have an IEP and a statement of SEN?  If he has a statement, then your local authority has a duty to ensure that he receives an appropriate education - you could ask for an Annual Review of the statement so that you, the school and reps of the local authority can solve the difficulties together. 

    Its hard to offer guidance without knowing more about your situation - whether your son does or doesnt have a statement makes a big difference because of the responsibility a statement confers. If he doesnt have a statement, you might want to think about getting one.

    You could get in touch with your local Parent Partnership Service (google it) - they should be able to give you individual help and support.  There is also the NAS Education Advice line, the tel no is on the NAS web site.

    Hope that helps

    Zoe

  • My 16 year old son with Asperger's has not attended school since before Christmas. He was only just turned 16 when he started Year 12, having taken GCSEs at 15 (and got good results without doing any work to speak of). He was just overwhelmed by the work demands of 6th form and got really behind, so he stopped going to some lessons and then wouldn't go at all. Lots of stomach aches and headaches too. It doesn't help that for the last 5 years the school has had a head who actively discouraged SEN kids from coming to his school and failed to give most statemented kids more than a tiny fraction of their support hours (I was part of a group that threatened legal action and got him to leave!). The new head is putting things right but it will take time especially as all the money has gone on building projects which have nothing to do with SEN.

    John is re-starting Yr 12 in September in a specialist AS unit in a mainstream school. We are really thrilled. He is supposed to be doing voluntary work in the meantime but the only way we can get him to go to it is to pay him for it!

    If your son is missing school then there is something at school that is making it unbearable for him. Try to find out from him or the school what it is. If it can't be fixed at that school, time to find another school which can support him adequately, or home schooling as suggested above. If he has a statement you can apply for a home tutor at least five hours a week. (We tried home school for about three days when our son was 7, but he wouldn't do anything we said - your mileage may vary).

  • Would you consider Home Educating?

    At 15 your son may find that he can educate himself - and do it better than school ever could.

    There are plenty around who could help.  Start here:

    www.education-otherwise.org/

  • Have you thought about home ed? I admit that it isn't for everyone and it's not the easy option but if he is really serious about not going to school it may be an option to consider. There is a lot of support out there if you need it.