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Annah

Hello,

My daughter is 7 and yet to be formally diagnosed, we're due an appointment this month but we'll see!

Amongst other things she has quite bad separation anxiety and hates it when I go to work, in an ideal world she would like me to drop her at school, sit at home waiting for her and then be with her! So when I go to work then she'll punish me and I'll get growled at, bitten, hit, pushed, pinched etc.

I work shifts and recently I have had a wibble moment and am trying to get a better work/life balance, or rather I should say a better work/child balance!!

Just wondering if many of you have similar problems and how your work have been about it? My request has been met with "well she'll get used to it" and "you need to sort it, we'd all like to be there for our children" and the fact that she's soooo demanding seems to go over their heads! Or do I just expect to much???

Thanks :)

  • The law covers discrimination by association, basically under the Equality Act 2010, if your employer is discriminating against you  becuase you need to take time off for your disabled child's appointments and they do not recognise and adjust themselves for you

    Gov.uk says

    You’re also protected from discrimination if:

    • you’re associated with someone who has a protected characteristic, eg a family member or friend [is disabled etc]

    https://www.gov.uk/discrimination-your-rights/types-of-discrimination 

     

    You will need the offical diagnosis if this is to go further

     

    I hope that helped and remember things will get better

     

  • Hi Crystal12

    She follows a timetable at school but I struggle to get one to work at home, mainly because things never seem to go to plan!!

    My employer has made it quite clear that they arent willing to be to helpful and unfortunately for me my family completely disagree that I have got her diagnosed (that's another story!!) and refuse to keep to her routines so I can't rely on them. Luckily I have another appointment tomorrow - if this one is as blinkered I may be telling them where they can put their job!! I've tried looking into legislation but it doesn't seem to protect carers unless I'm missing something...! x

  • hi - I don't think there is near enough awareness within the general population about autism.  You can always tell because when you explain something to someone they come out with comments such as the ones you've mentioned above.  You presume they'll understand, but they don't.   It cd be that because you work shifts her routine is disrupted.  Is she able to follow a timetable, either pictoral, written or both?  You cd put it up on a wall so she'd know what to expect in advance so it wdn't be a surprise.  On the other hand, unfortunately, she might get equally upset with the timetable/rota.  I don't know if your employer cd do something with your shifts which wd enable you to be there each day to take her + pick her up from school.  I think there may be legislation which says employers have to take caring responsibilities into account, but check the detail out via this site or another carer's site.  If you have a trade union at work it cd be worth joining.  Who takes her + picks her up when you're at work - is it the same person?  Just thinking it's a routine thing that's causing distress all round.  Hope she gets the diagnosis soon....that'll give you more support all round, hopefully.