School Problems

puffin said:

Hello again,

How are things with Emylee?  I did not mention the other day when my son was struggling to settle into P1 i started to do a little bit of volunteering at his school as some days he did not want to go orwas nervous on gym days and if i could arrange to be around photocopying for the teachers or arranging displays he was a bit less anxious.  his is a very small school in the highlands 30 pupils so was easier for me to arrange to help out and i did some playground duty ( alterior motives as he was being bullied), but all that happened at playtime was he would sit by me and not interact with others at all!  because the school does not have a larger number of pupils they are not entitled to a playground assistant so i am told.  i have sorted the bullying ( i hope) and dispite a new teacher he is going to school ok at the moment, swimming starts soon though that always causes problems!  i do not go to his school at all now he has stopped asking me to go in, so i have held back as i am pleased he feels he can go it alone at the minute.     One of the teaching assistants runs a lego club for my son and a few others which gives him a nice small group setting to talk and play, they also do circle time and role plays once a week covering emotions and friendships.   i have started taking him to a martial arts class *** SOOL, for various reasons, more friendships a boost of confidence and of course to defend himself against future possible bullies!   but he loves it, great excercise!  He does not talk much if at all in the class but feels part of a team.  when asked to do something by the instructor he used to just give a big nod as a yes now he actually says out a loud "yes" !  it sounds pathetic but the day he spoke out loud in class i was so pleased, small though it was it was an improvement and it told me he was settling in  Have you read Tony Attwoods book a guide to Aspergers for parents and professionals it is very good, my husband refuses to read it says people are all different and all have diferent disabilities why label our son with one.   i do understand where he is coming from i see children at my sons school who are not good at gym, or bullies some kids quite rude and not polite, i can look at them at think i am so glad my son is not like that ,why do they not get official labels?!  but if our childrens disabilities could stop them from fitting in and being confident in social situations and be more anxious at times we have to teach them and give them that confidence, let them know to a certain degree that everyone has disabilities, i need glasses! isn't that a disability? , it is at times!  i guess we have to concentrate on the good things as hard as it is at times, our children have many positive attributes and we have to nurture those and help them be less anxious about what thay might lack compared with the average person!

good luck.

Hi

Emylee seems to be suffering from anxiety tummy pains now (which was a problem I dealt with as a child and sometimes still do) Yesterday I received a call saying Emy was complaining of stomach pains so I went and collected her. The pains seemed to stop after she got home and she made a point of telling me she couldn't go back to school. I had a quick word with her teacher this morning and she said Emylee went to her first group and came back crying and so she stayed with her the rest of the time and was fine till I collected her. The whole school are having a 60's week and it means the lesson timetables are different and they have different groups learning and doing different 60's activities. This all sounds great fun but for a child who HATES changes of routines and having different teachers this is absolute hell!!! Why do they not think about this? Emylee has a problem understanding the past and as much as this week should help her she doesnt seem to understand what 'the 60's' actually means, shes just going along with it. I have asked 3 times for a meeting with her teacher and SENCo and finally been told after school today can meet them tomorrow morning before school. I'm taking my mum with me as I am not a very convident or pushy person and need someone to support me and do the pushing for me (I know I need to learn to do it myself)

I have stayed with Emylee on the first day back after school holidays a few times and it seems to make her worse unfortunatley, she wants me to do it all the time and never wants me to leave. I would love to try and make it a more routine arrangement but I have 2 younger daughters and I also think Emylee would want to be by my side the whole time. How awful for you all that he was bullied, its every parents worse nightmare but it must be so nice that hes's confident enough to go it alone now. You obviously found a great way of helping him and how great to hear him get over an issue of speaking in front of a class. Emylee finds it hard to say 'she' when talking about a female, she always says 'he', I feel so proud when she says it correctly  Little things can mean such alot.

Thank you for the book recommendation, I and my sister have been looking for good books (my nephew has aspergers) so that one will be a good investment. I do agree with your husband that everyone has disabilities so why should our children get labeled but in another any I feel so relieved that I can say 'Emylee is not being rude by commenting about you but not talking to you, she hasnt got that function in her brain' or 'Emylee isnt trying to be naughty in this busy enviroment, her brain struggles to work with all the distractions'. To be honest I dont have a problem with Emylee she just needs me to think about how I talk to her, its other people who cannot take the time to understand her I dont like. If I had the choice I would never take Emylees condition away it makes her Emylee and I love her for all her little ways good and bad. I feel that autistic children need parents to treat them how good parents should treat any child. I dont do anything differently for Emylee as I do for Izabella (3) or will for Bethenie (8m) they all need patience but set boundries. I thank Emylee for making me the parent I am today. Sorry if I sound really cheesy lol. 

Thank you so much for replying it has really helped me having other mums to talk to and listening to others experiances. I hope all is well with your son (sorry you havent mentioned his name). Can I ask you how you used to do school drop offs? did you settle him in or did the teacher? was you staying most mornings?

Take care 

puffin said:

Hello again,

How are things with Emylee?  I did not mention the other day when my son was struggling to settle into P1 i started to do a little bit of volunteering at his school as some days he did not want to go orwas nervous on gym days and if i could arrange to be around photocopying for the teachers or arranging displays he was a bit less anxious.  his is a very small school in the highlands 30 pupils so was easier for me to arrange to help out and i did some playground duty ( alterior motives as he was being bullied), but all that happened at playtime was he would sit by me and not interact with others at all!  because the school does not have a larger number of pupils they are not entitled to a playground assistant so i am told.  i have sorted the bullying ( i hope) and dispite a new teacher he is going to school ok at the moment, swimming starts soon though that always causes problems!  i do not go to his school at all now he has stopped asking me to go in, so i have held back as i am pleased he feels he can go it alone at the minute.     One of the teaching assistants runs a lego club for my son and a few others which gives him a nice small group setting to talk and play, they also do circle time and role plays once a week covering emotions and friendships.   i have started taking him to a martial arts class *** SOOL, for various reasons, more friendships a boost of confidence and of course to defend himself against future possible bullies!   but he loves it, great excercise!  He does not talk much if at all in the class but feels part of a team.  when asked to do something by the instructor he used to just give a big nod as a yes now he actually says out a loud "yes" !  it sounds pathetic but the day he spoke out loud in class i was so pleased, small though it was it was an improvement and it told me he was settling in  Have you read Tony Attwoods book a guide to Aspergers for parents and professionals it is very good, my husband refuses to read it says people are all different and all have diferent disabilities why label our son with one.   i do understand where he is coming from i see children at my sons school who are not good at gym, or bullies some kids quite rude and not polite, i can look at them at think i am so glad my son is not like that ,why do they not get official labels?!  but if our childrens disabilities could stop them from fitting in and being confident in social situations and be more anxious at times we have to teach them and give them that confidence, let them know to a certain degree that everyone has disabilities, i need glasses! isn't that a disability? , it is at times!  i guess we have to concentrate on the good things as hard as it is at times, our children have many positive attributes and we have to nurture those and help them be less anxious about what thay might lack compared with the average person!

good luck.

Hi

Emylee seems to be suffering from anxiety tummy pains now (which was a problem I dealt with as a child and sometimes still do) Yesterday I received a call saying Emy was complaining of stomach pains so I went and collected her. The pains seemed to stop after she got home and she made a point of telling me she couldn't go back to school. I had a quick word with her teacher this morning and she said Emylee went to her first group and came back crying and so she stayed with her the rest of the time and was fine till I collected her. The whole school are having a 60's week and it means the lesson timetables are different and they have different groups learning and doing different 60's activities. This all sounds great fun but for a child who HATES changes of routines and having different teachers this is absolute hell!!! Why do they not think about this? Emylee has a problem understanding the past and as much as this week should help her she doesnt seem to understand what 'the 60's' actually means, shes just going along with it. I have asked 3 times for a meeting with her teacher and SENCo and finally been told after school today can meet them tomorrow morning before school. I'm taking my mum with me as I am not a very convident or pushy person and need someone to support me and do the pushing for me (I know I need to learn to do it myself)

I have stayed with Emylee on the first day back after school holidays a few times and it seems to make her worse unfortunatley, she wants me to do it all the time and never wants me to leave. I would love to try and make it a more routine arrangement but I have 2 younger daughters and I also think Emylee would want to be by my side the whole time. How awful for you all that he was bullied, its every parents worse nightmare but it must be so nice that hes's confident enough to go it alone now. You obviously found a great way of helping him and how great to hear him get over an issue of speaking in front of a class. Emylee finds it hard to say 'she' when talking about a female, she always says 'he', I feel so proud when she says it correctly  Little things can mean such alot.

Thank you for the book recommendation, I and my sister have been looking for good books (my nephew has aspergers) so that one will be a good investment. I do agree with your husband that everyone has disabilities so why should our children get labeled but in another any I feel so relieved that I can say 'Emylee is not being rude by commenting about you but not talking to you, she hasnt got that function in her brain' or 'Emylee isnt trying to be naughty in this busy enviroment, her brain struggles to work with all the distractions'. To be honest I dont have a problem with Emylee she just needs me to think about how I talk to her, its other people who cannot take the time to understand her I dont like. If I had the choice I would never take Emylees condition away it makes her Emylee and I love her for all her little ways good and bad. I feel that autistic children need parents to treat them how good parents should treat any child. I dont do anything differently for Emylee as I do for Izabella (3) or will for Bethenie (8m) they all need patience but set boundries. I thank Emylee for making me the parent I am today. Sorry if I sound really cheesy lol. 

Thank you so much for replying it has really helped me having other mums to talk to and listening to others experiances. I hope all is well with your son (sorry you havent mentioned his name). Can I ask you how you used to do school drop offs? did you settle him in or did the teacher? was you staying most mornings?

Take care