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Christmas

Bright eyes

Hi! My Son has just turned 4 and was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 2.4yrs. He has very limited speech but loves the company of other children. I find Christmas quite hard as he won't open presents and doesn't really understand anything about the day. I see all of his cousins getting excited, hanging up their stockings and talking about Father Christmas and sometimes this makes me feel sad that my son doesn't have the same magical feelings as they do. I was wondering how everyone else finds Christmas and what you do to make it special for your child?

  • I don't think I ever did, and still don't, see the 'magic' of christmas.

    It's just another day, like any other.

    Though, having said that, I hate being left out, or feeling that I get fewer presents, or more presents that I don't particularly want, and everyone else gets more presents and things that they want.

  • hi - do what works for him, you'll all be happier as a result.   My son's always been into getting presents he wants (not what other people think he shd have!).  He also enjoys the food aspect!  He doesn't see the "magic" of Christmas.  When he was little I tended to do what other parents do, but some of it didn't work for him + as you say you can feel sad.  Over the yrs I've stopped trying to put how I feel on to him, if you know what I mean.  These are my issues, not his.  Christmas throws up all sorts of expectations for anyone, whether on the autistic spectrum or not + quite often people are disappointed, whoever, wherever they are.  My son doesn't want a traditional xmas dinner...so what?  He knows what he wants to do on xmas day so we fit in with that....no pressure for any of us.  It takes time to adjust.  A lot of people conform to what xmas shd be....whatever that is.  Who needs the hassle?  bw

  • If He doesnt go to the sack set up one or two items when he has left the room and see if he comes and trys them out, might be worth doing it all on a gradual basis.

    I am going to set up one in his room and dowstairs so if he finds it hard to deal with (he cant cope with too many people in one room!).  It can be quite hard to get his attention when all in one room especially xmas morning!! Just gonna have to be patient and prepared.

    Bounce is still regressing (has been for over 3 years) so not sure how he will cope this year and every day is a different day for him and us!!

    Hope it goes well and merry christmas to you all xx

  • Hi Tiredeyes, I have a Christmas sack, so I think I will do what you have done and put presents in there, unwrapped, and see if he will get them out, thanks for the idea! my son loves anything musical with buttons that he press, this is normally repeated over and over!! He will love having his cousins around so that will be special enough for him :-)

  • Hi there Bounce doesnt get christmas at all, he only 5 and over the past few years we have observed what doesnt work for him. Since he only got dx in June this year I have decided not to wrap any of his presents up but put them in christmas sacks/bags and only have a few at a time has he doesnt understand the concept of gift giving. It may taker longer for him to see what he has but gonna let him d what he wants through the day.

    Has it can get quite noisy and have overly excited brothers (6 in total nt inc Bounce!) I will have somethink set up in his room for him and if he wants to try somethhink new its there for him.

    We have in the past had new gifts for his birthday just put on the settee or floor but didnt acknowledge them for days. They do have to be physically set up (if possible). This year its mostly puzzles (he jigsaw mad), it has though took me ages to find ones big enough for him has he able to do 48 pieces+.

    I have also got him a xmas sack (fabric ) of ebay which I have put some little gifts and sensory toys in it for him instead of stockings.