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Apologising continuously over trivial things

Tbird78

Hello 

I’m new to this site , this is my first post !

I’m Single Mum to Jayden 11 years old who is diagnosed with high functioning autism , He was Diagnosed in June 2019. 

I know a fair bit but am still learning about Autism , And would appreciate some advice .

He is the most loving caring boy , he isn’t naughty at all .

He mostly  struggles socially and communication also very anxious and comes across depressed occasionally. 

So , what I wanted to ask people about is constant apologising.. 

At the moment , Jayden is constantly saying Sorry to me , for things  he doesn’t need to apologise for !

Although it isn’t A bad thing , it’s worrying me ,

as he’s so apologetic and seems down ? 
For example He comes to me for a cuddle and tells me he loves me at least ten times a day , Yesterday in the sweltering heat , he opens his arms up to do so and I was sweating buckets trying to get Some air so I asked to hold on for a min , and he started saying ... ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry ‘ !! 
So I’m forever saying it’s alright Jayden you don’t have to apologise 

But it’s over every Thing lately , and when I try to explain to him that he doesn’t need to say sorry over everything he then takes offence Sweat

I’m just wondering if anyone has any experience with this type of behaviour ? It makes me feel terrible Frowning2️ 

Thanks in advance 

 

Parents

  • He's at the age where he's starting to seek approval from his peers and, like the rest of us, probably not good at spotting people's emotions.       If he doesn't get instant approval, then he's assuming he's done something wrong.    Unfortunately, this unleashes a massive guilt / stress / lack of understanding 'rush' so we try to do everything to make reparations.    He's obviously running on 99% stress all the time.

    This behaviour makes us instant targets for bullies, manipulators and users - they literally come out of the woodwork when they see this reaction.

    Try talking to him about this behaviour and get him to take more time to assess the situation before apologising - make sure he's apologising for a real reason.      It's almost a better strategy to get him to verbalise something like "Have I done something to insult or hurt you?"    rather than blanket apologies which can be weaponised against him..

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