I'm sorry for the rant guys and girls but I'm not sure how much ,more i can take. My 16 year daughter has asd and over the last year her anxieties and depression have spiralled massively. Obviously this has been made worse with the lock down which in the beginning she was so out of control and unable to sleep I had to make the decision to send her back to school and put her on melatonin.
Then I found out she had confided in a family member she was self harming ( something I kick myself for for not noticing the signs ) I immediately contacted the gp who sent another referral of to the paediatricians and notified the school but each of the,m sent me a letter to say because she is seeing a cbt there isn't much more help than what she is already GETTING!
I attend her cbt meetings every week something the school and the counsellor thought would help her open up but every week is the same old s##t she will refuse to go in and then once we have taken forever to get her in she says everything is horrible ... like how she feels is horrible going to school is horrible. There is never anything positive come out of the meetings.
It's sole destroying listening to your child say her life is ***, she worries constantly about everyone and anything and will often say we don't understand her but it's not that we don't try but we walk on egg shells around her especially now that I know she could self harm her again.
It seems no professional will help her or us has a family because her behaviour is down to the asd but I feel now I am letting her down because she no longer a little girl that I can hug when things are bad these days I have to wait and be there when she wants or feels the need for cuddles
Take care people
Hi I'm new to this forum. As a parent of a daughter who had ASD and also self-harms I can empathise with what you are going through. As frustrated as you are, please be assure you are not letting your daughter down, you are frustrated and the services out there are pretty much non existence. Mainly due to funding, lack of knowledge and that makes life even harder and some people just don't get that.
I understand how exhausting it is, constantly going round in circles only to find yourself in the same place or even 2 steps back from where you started. When my daughter started to self harm, I was advised by her psychiatrist that self-harming is deep routed which I should not stop and instead I should make sure that what she is using is clean. That sounded so wrong to me and I still do not feel comfortable with it, but it meant she didn't get infected. Her legs are still scared but not as bad now.
At the time she was very depressed so as advised I hid all the medicines and I had to leave my job to be with her to make sure she was safe, we tried to talk through her feelings which was not always met with enthusiasm and instead she would shut off from me. it was not easy for either of us. My daughter struggled with feelings of not fitting in, she felt numb and at the same time deeply saddened.
After, she spent 2 years out of school, where it transpired she was bullied we eventually found a small special school and they helped her rebuild her self esteem and confidence. On occasions she still self-harms but we are more able to deal with these triggers. Self harming is sometimes triggered when she is overwhelmed with emotions she cannot express in words.
You will know the right environment for your daughter, ask her about the things which make her happy and the things that she would change. It sounds so simple I know and I hope you don't feel I am trying to teach you to suck eggs I am not, I am merely sharing my experience and saying stay strong you are reaching out for help and your daughter has spoken about what she is doing and that is a good starting point.
I really feel your pain, I often broke down myself and said I cannot take any more, it is just heart breaking. You are not alone and you will get through this.