Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone!
My son is in year 5 now and we will have to apply for secondary school places this October. He has high functioning autism and is academically able. However, he has severe anxiety and maybe PDA (not diagnosed) and he finds the social interactions in school very stressful. He has various sensory issues and struggles with certain noises, odours and tastes. He masks well at school but comes home and behaves very badly; lashes out at us in anger, avoids self care and doesn't want to do homework. But he is very creative, humorous, a voracious reader and generally intelligent. He doesn't have an EHCP because the school feels he's very able, well behaved and there is no evidence of an issue.
My son's inability to cope in a social environment, makes him awkward and very prone to bullying. Also he finds it hard to deal with strict teachers and feels terribly anxious about being shouted at.
Given his ability, he needs to be in an academic environment is what I feel. He could well get into a grammar school, if he prepared well. He is a good learner and deserves to go to university.
Many friends have advised me that he needs to go to a private school with a small class size. Given his talent I don't want him to be deprived of a high quality education, but at the same time I want him to be in a school where they understand his condition and provide appropriate support. His current state school simply cannot understand his issues.
The NAS has listed a few schools with a specialist unit. If your child attends any of these schools especially Salesian in Chertsey, Surrey, please can you let me know your experience.
Also any advice on either private or state schools would be highly appreciated. I am ready to move if we find the right school. Right now based in greater london borough - east of london, but can move to surrey and nearby areas.
Thanks so much!
Hi Nikki
I would advise you get on with EHC Needs assessment during the next few months. try to get an appointment with school SENCo before the end of term to and explain why you think this is needed.
My son is similar, bright and model pupil but highly anxious - he had no diagnosis at Primary School but I'd had him referred to rule autism out - he finally got diagnosed late in year 7 - he is in Year 9 now. He is a bright boy but has struggled with secondary school from the start of Year 7. He reckons most kids get 'secondary fever' when they start with symptoms of acting cool, showing off, swearing and general rule breaking. It is much harder to get an EHCP in secondary school - we had to wait until school had tried to support him and show it wasn't working. He soon developed excessive hand washing as he felt school wasn't clean and kids didn't wash their hands and ruminating thoughts ie OCD. He was scoring above average in academic subjects in year 7 but now below average and on a reduced timetable - he would mask at school and come home and melt down as soon as he came home. He has been bullied and won't travel on the school bus now - he has been on a reduced timetable since December. I started the EHC Needs process at the start of November - a final plan was issued in May - but I need to appeal on placement - so not through it yet.
I would suggest you start to gather and create evidence:
Also if you haven't already you can get DLA (Disability Living Allowance) for him which can help with costs.
Good luck
Jo
Jo, thank you so much for all the valuable advice! I am currently going through private OT assessments and recommendations. I do hope things work out. Really worried about secondary.
Thanks so much once again!
xx