Published on 12, July, 2020
deleted because of absolutely horrible comments !!
Hi all,
I'm happy to see that there are some lovely comments with some great advice in this thread! We do encourage discussion and debate, and we appreciate that everyone has a different point of view. I would however like to take the opportunity to remind everyone of rule number 4: Be nice to one another and enjoy chatting with others. We encourage conversation and respectful debate; please be aware that individuals may give opinions which are not shared by other members. Insulting posts or comments making personal jibes will not be tolerated. It may be helpful to try and keep the discussion relevant to the question the original poster has asked, so that the conversation can be as productive and helpful as possible. Many thanks, Dani Mod
Deleted
I was pregnant this time last year and can remember how exhausting it was without having another LO running around.
Have you spoken to your midwife about the bump? Hopefully, the baby has enough padding to keep it safe from your LO. When does the kicking etc take place? For example, if its when you're on the sofa could you put a cushion in front of you to provide some protection? Can you physically create a barrier, such as using a playpen, to slow down how many times your daughter can touch you?
Your daughter is doing the scratching etc to meet some need, whether that is to manage her emotions or due to her sensory need. Is 'bad' the right word for you to be using? Could this make her feel ashamed for managing her autistic needs in future? My mum used to use negative language to describe my needs and this has had a long term negative impact on my self-image and mental health. Have you tried simply moving her hand away and doing an 'ouch' face?
Any 'issues' I have due to being autistic are man-made and can be easily avoided. For example, I lashed out as a child as I'm hypersensitive to taste, texture, smell and light. Not knowing this, my mum regularly created adverse environments for me. She'd wear perfume that made me feel unwell, so being close to her made me cry. She'd cook meat and the smell would make me feel physically sick. She'd take me out at busy times etc. I didn't know my reactions were different to anyone else, so didn't verbalise this and my mum had her blinkers on that I was 'a little madame', so she didn't think to ask. I'm saying this as your daughter's behaviour may not be due to her speech. I've spoken to my local NHS about my LO and they seem incredibly old fashioned in their understanding of autistic individuals.
I'm going off-topic but my daughter is clearly autistic, to help with communication issues I enrolled her in baby sign at 6 months. Have you considered this for the newborn?
Hey. maybe try to engage her in things she's interested in. See if you can spot any triggers that cause to do her behaviour.
Wow, I can't believe how horrible the replies are!
I have Asperger's and am also mother to a probably autistic toddler. He is much younger than your little girl but also hits.
Is she getting support from a specialist service that can offer you advice? Keep your sentences short, a couple of key words if understanding is believed to be a difficulty. Does she have sensory needs that need to be met? Such as needing to move a lot of bite things? My son has always loved the feeling of pinching things so I've tried things like flour in a empty balloon to replace pinching me.
Does she use makaton? Pecs? Any other way to help communicate? Makaton has worked well in our family.
You need to keep your baby safe so use a cusion to protect your belly, and simply say no hitting and move away. Give little attention to unwanted behaviour.
If you can see it escalating try and distract with another activity before it really starts.