Worried about my son

I'm really worried about my three year old son. I'm a teacher, so have worked with children with Autism/ Aspergers. I've spotted traits of Aspergers in my little boy for a long time now, but kept on telling myself that he is OK. Recently I have really become worried about him. On reading some of the information on this website, I felt I had to try to get some advice and help.

He is nearly 3 and a half. He was an angelic baby: hardly ever cried and slept like a dream. He was fast to crawl and walk, and ate well. He was also very fast to learn how to do games eg: stacking rings and shape sorters.

He began to exhibit worrying aspects when he was around 18 months. He suddenly became a terribly fussy eater. I tried to follow the advice of the health visitors but nothing has worked. He will eat certain foods, eg: fruit, ready brek, sweet things, but other foods he will just not touch and gags on if persuaded to try. He also hardly drinks any fluid at all. We have tried everything including juice and cordial, to no avail.

He is very routine obsessed. He insists on doing things in the same order every day, and gets upset if this order is not followed. He even wants to have the same conversations with me every day at certain points for days/ weeks on end.

He has unusual obsessions for a little boy. He is fascinated with wind turbines and fans. Also with washing machines.

His memory is incredible. He will remember something from when he was just a baby, perhaps around 2 years ago, and be completely correct. He will remember anything anyone has even mentioned to him, and remembers routines and orders.

He finds it very difficult to play. His preschool have commented on this again and again. He likes to play with electrical items, eg: he will spend a good 20 minutes switching the hoover on and off, but has no interest in normal preschool toys and activites.

He is incredibly numerate, and could count as soon as he could talk (he hardly talked at all until the age of two and then came out with full sentences and a huge vocabulary). He is also already reading well above his age, but shows no interest in writing and has poor motor skills with crayons/ pencils. He is obsessed with shapes and could name lots of them as soon as he could talk, including difficult ones like trapezuim, hexagon etc.

He has lots of fears. He is expecially terrified on sudden noises. He is also frightened of people saying hooray, and I cannot seem to explain to him that this is something people do when they are happy. He is terrified of being apart from me, and cries and cries when I drop him at preschool.

Preschool have also commented that he does not interact at all with the other children. out in parks and playgrounds he is often quite frightened of other children, and makes no attempt to play with them.

He also loathes mess, and gets very upset if he spills a tiny amount of food, or gets any on his hands.

He seems to have no sense of danger. He constantly touches electrical items around the house and plugs, despite us constantly telling him not to and explaining the danger. He also has no road sense, and would step out off the pavement if I was not constantly hanging onto his hand.

On the up side, he can be very affectionate to us, his parents, and his Granny and Grandma. He loves to listen to music, and remembers all the words to songs on just a couple of hearings, though he refuses to sing in singing time at school. He loves books, and likes being read to.

Any advice would be wonderful. I don't really know who to turn to, and it is really getting to me at the moment. Do others think that he may be Aspergers, or is he just having a tough toddler phase? Who should I turn to for help? Do I need to speak to the health visitors or my doctor etc? I have been very, very keen to avoid having a "label" put on him, but recently I am wondering what is the right way forward to help him.

Parents
  • Hi Stardust.

    We have a 4 1/2 year old and he was diagnosed this year with ASD. Like you, we noticed he had some behaviour we thought may mean a form of autism - He spins things for ages, stares at things through his fingers, switches things on and off to name a few.

    we decided to push for hom to be assessed, as the worst thing that could happen was we would be told he was normal, and the best thing would be to get him support should he need it in time for school.

    We spoke to his nursery who had seen some of his behaviours and fears, and after several assessments with a pedeatritian both in his nursery and in the ASD clinic we were abe to bring everything together and get a diagnosis.

    Although this is a label, it means when he starts school he will have the benefit of the SENCO knowing his diagnosis, and having strategies to help him stabalise and cope in a new environment with lots of others. Our worst fear was him getting to school and being labelled as a 'naughty' child or 'loner' and being left behind. Now we have some input and power to help make sure he does not get left behind, and also the school receive funding to help children who need it, which is fantastic.

    Also as part of the process both our sons mother and I have been able to go on a training course on learning about and living with ASD children, and will be able to take part in a longer set of sessions in 2018 along with our son.

    We love him so much, and in  many ways he is the perfect child who is clever, has manners, loves music and is fascinated by so many things. We are just so glad we went through the process and can help him have the best possible journey through the school system, and give him the best possible choices in the future.

    I highly reccomend assessment, as it will teach you many things whatever the outcome!

    If you have any questions I would be happy to go through any more in detail Slight smile

    Hang in there!

Reply
  • Hi Stardust.

    We have a 4 1/2 year old and he was diagnosed this year with ASD. Like you, we noticed he had some behaviour we thought may mean a form of autism - He spins things for ages, stares at things through his fingers, switches things on and off to name a few.

    we decided to push for hom to be assessed, as the worst thing that could happen was we would be told he was normal, and the best thing would be to get him support should he need it in time for school.

    We spoke to his nursery who had seen some of his behaviours and fears, and after several assessments with a pedeatritian both in his nursery and in the ASD clinic we were abe to bring everything together and get a diagnosis.

    Although this is a label, it means when he starts school he will have the benefit of the SENCO knowing his diagnosis, and having strategies to help him stabalise and cope in a new environment with lots of others. Our worst fear was him getting to school and being labelled as a 'naughty' child or 'loner' and being left behind. Now we have some input and power to help make sure he does not get left behind, and also the school receive funding to help children who need it, which is fantastic.

    Also as part of the process both our sons mother and I have been able to go on a training course on learning about and living with ASD children, and will be able to take part in a longer set of sessions in 2018 along with our son.

    We love him so much, and in  many ways he is the perfect child who is clever, has manners, loves music and is fascinated by so many things. We are just so glad we went through the process and can help him have the best possible journey through the school system, and give him the best possible choices in the future.

    I highly reccomend assessment, as it will teach you many things whatever the outcome!

    If you have any questions I would be happy to go through any more in detail Slight smile

    Hang in there!

Children
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