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Scared Dad

NAS67109

Hi all

i’m not really sure where to start with this, my son is 3 in 3 weeks and is still not talking. He has some words however very rarely uses this and needs to be encouraged to do this. He won’t just talk without you asking him to, he rarely plays with any toys and is really hard to keep entertained and to get him to focus. We seem to be on the path to an autism diagnosis and I’m just not sure how to cope with this, all the questions. Will he ever talk? Will he be able to live a normal life? Will he go to school and have friends. I never imagined this path when becoming a father and I’m just not sure how to cope with it all, sometimes I feel ok and think I can get through this with him and other times of jealous of other parents for what they have! I’d do anything to be able to have a conversation with my boy, share some interests and be able to do things together. Do I sound selfish? I’m just so scared of our future and what it holds I feel we should have everything to look forward to but that’s now robbed of us and I’m scared of what the future holds, sometimes I’m not sure how to carry on.

Parents

  • I just don’t know how to feel, some days I have really good days, I think we have the easy part so far the only difference we notice is lack of speech and lack of play. He loves rough and tumble and being in the garden but doesn’t really pay much attention to much. He sleeps well, eats well and doesn’t present as melt downs, he loves being outdoors and going for walks he can run off but I’m trying to teach him to wait when I shout for him to and also to be careful around the road, he’s enjoying puzzles and can do them although he doesn’t seem to take in words and what things are. He has understanding but I feel I have to point to things for him to follow rather than him just understanding. I’m just so confused and don’t know what to expect or how to feel 

  • in reply to NAS67109

    You're going to feel totally mixed up until you can measure his development in comparison to his peer group.    Does he have any siblings?     Does he have something he can measure and compare himself to or see behaviours he should copy? (I was a twin - my brother is NT.)

    Your son is very young still so there's lots of growing to do.     All I can advise is do as much as you can with him - chat to him all the time, read to him, if he's into being outside, then take him to the woods, show him nature - just try to find the way into his mind.  

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  • in reply to NAS67109

    You're going to feel totally mixed up until you can measure his development in comparison to his peer group.    Does he have any siblings?     Does he have something he can measure and compare himself to or see behaviours he should copy? (I was a twin - my brother is NT.)

    Your son is very young still so there's lots of growing to do.     All I can advise is do as much as you can with him - chat to him all the time, read to him, if he's into being outside, then take him to the woods, show him nature - just try to find the way into his mind.  

Children
  • in reply to Plastic

    I know he is a long way behind his peer group in terms of speech and play as he has very little words and little concentration for play, currently this isn’t a struggle for us as we can get by and it doesn’t really stand out, he is fine in public and in crowds nothing like noise phases him etc the main thing for me is I just want him to be able to talk. That’s what I guess I’m most scared about. I just hope he has a good life ahead of him where he can stand on his own two feet and for his life not to be over before it has even begun.