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Strong suspicion my 1 year old has autism

NAS66647

My 1 year old son will be 2 very soon and I’ve thought for a long while that he’s autistic. My gut instinct tells me he is. He is showing a lot of the signs such as poor eye contact, non verbal and his understanding is certainly not there. He is very cuddly, he doesn’t struggle with change in routine and doesn’t seem to have sensory issues. 
He’a a very chilled calm toddler and a little joy. I adore him. The health visitor has concerns too and he has been referred to professionals for support.

I’m just finding it really hard watching other children the same age (my friends who we all had babies together and online) develop and start talking. It breaks my heart every time and I feel lonely in it. 

I’m so worried about the future, unsure if he will ever talk or whether he will live independently. Would be lovely to hear from anyone who’s felt this way as I feel on my own. X

  • I was in a similar situation with my son, had a feeling something wasn't right but didn't know anything about autism. It was picked up at pre school we sent him to because he wasn't talking much or interacting with other children. He was 3 years 10 months when he was diagnosed autistic. I felt like you and will always worry but what parent doesn't. I had to learn a lot about autism and how that makes my son the person he is. One of the best things he was given was a book about famous autistic people, he still has it he's 19. It's easy to get caught up with what's expected, sometimes it's better to focus on what your child can do they will always surprise you !

  • Hello.

    I am exactly the same position. I have a one year old daughter who is the same. My gut instinct also is the same and I also feel sad sometimes when I see other children her age developing.

    I’ve stopped wanting to socialise with other mums like I used to, even though I know It isn’t  something to be sad about. I guess it’s hard at the beginning, coming to terms and that’s a human nature instinct! 

    nice to know someone else out there feeling the same! X 

  • Hi NAS66647

    You sound like you're where I was with my son a few years back. I remember the fear, the worry and the sadness that his life might not be what we thought it was going to be.

    But since he was diagnosed, I've never looked back. I have a wonderful child who thoroughly enjoys his life, although he does need some support to make the most of things like school. Some days are harder than others, and some days are wonderful, but I'd say the same for life with my other child!

    Obviously I don't know if your son is autistic or not. But if you suspect it then (once we're allowed outside again), speak to someone about a diagnosis. I still marvel at how much the label of his diagnosis helped me to stop comparing him to other kids, to put my fears to bed and get on with helping him have the life he deserves. And when he's older, we'll support him to make his own way in life as best he can - whatever works for him.

    Last point - echoing what I think some other people have said already. If it comes to the point where you want to learn more about autism, then the most useful things I have learned have been from autistic people themselves, without a doubt. There is a huge amount of help and support out there if you need it.

    All the best to you and your boy.

  • Hi ,

    Thank you for sharing this with the community. You may like to read our general information about autism:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-autism.aspx

    If you were interested in finding out if your son is on the autism spectrum, they would need to have a formal diagnostic assessment. You may find it useful to have a look at the following link for further information about diagnosis and the benefits of getting one:http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx

    If you are looking for a diagnosis for your son, it is very important that you see someone with experience of autism spectrum disorders. Details of diagnostic services can be found on our Autism Services Directory: 
    https://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

    You may also want to look at our section that provides advice for parents, relatives and carers of people with autism.

    https://www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life.aspx

    It might also be useful to pass on information about autism to health professionals when seeking a diagnosis. The following page includes information for a range of health professionals: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/professionals-involved.aspx

    You may like to have a read of the National Autism Plan for Children to see what you are likely to expect and what you can ask during the assessment . Please scroll down to the bottom of the page and go to page 3 on summary report, page 11 for full report for the Essential Components for a complete multi agency assessment: 

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children/national-plan-children.aspx

    I hope this helps!

    ChloeMod.

  • Hi! Don't worry. No one can live independently. Even neurotypical people have problems and dificulties and  stress. Do you know Tony Attwood or Temple Grandin? They are amazing, you should watch their videos on youtube. Tony Attwood say we suffer from others, more than we suffer because of our autism. There are amazing autistic people: Susan Boyle, Bill Gates, Temple Grandin... No one is perfect. We should think of autism as a condition, a diference, we are different, we are intitled to be different. That's a good thing. And there are so many autistic people in the world, there is room for one more. I hope i was helpful.

  • Your fears are natural, but it's not what you think. The problems most autistic's face in later life are far more to do with psychological damage, forced masking and being taught they are disabled (unfortunately we don't have a 'neuro-divergent act' so in official and corporate terms sometimes that language can't be avoided).  If he is or not, provided he doesn't judge himself by his ability to fit into framework of another neuro-type odds are he'll have a very happy life either way.

    Though it is slightly early to be sure which he is.

    The urge to compare to others does make it difficult, and learning to communicate early on is rough. Just remember he'll be developing a completely different skill set to other's. While other kids my age where learning to talk, I was learning to read micro expressions, vocal stress and patterns in word use. In an hour's one to one conversation with most people I'll know more about what makes them tick then they do.