Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
My 2 year old son doesn’t talk, has poor eye contact, doesn’t point and flaps his hands when excited. Until the questionnaire for the 2 year review I didn’t think too much of it all but now with the review it’s all come into the picture. I feel so upset and overwhelmed. I feel guilty on many counts. With the Covid situation, I have been told there is no guarantee when we will be contacted for the referral and paediatrician follow up. I feel helpless with no advice on what I can do to make things better for him and how to come to terms with it myself. So worried about what the future will be like. Feel sad for my older daughter who is the sweetest most cooperative little girl. Most places recommend talking to other parents in the same situation. So here I am. Any support please - much appreciated
I have a son with autism, who was delayed in his speech, slow to reach the usual "milestones", and when young communicated by grunts and by grabbing my hand (without looking at me) to point to things he was interested in. I can remember the guilt I felt at the time of his diagnosis, (at the age of 5), but my worries had begun much earlier, except that he hadn't received a label then.
It was hard to see the positive side at the time, and for quite a long time after. But my son, and yours, is the same person he was before the label. The diagnosis is made on the basis of perceived deficits, and I remember too how difficult it was to keep having to talk about all the things my son struggled with, over and over, at meeting with speech therapists and child psychologists.
I have done a lot of reading about the subject since then, (my son is now 16), and found out about the strengths of autism as well as the weaknesses. I've tried to help him the best I can, sometimes it's worked and sometimes it hasn't, but you will find your own way. Your son is a unique individual, and your love for him will count for a great deal, even if he doesn't seem to be responding in the way you would expect. Be kind to yourself as well, try not to feel you are in some way to blame for his autism, although I know that's easier said than done at the beginning.
I hope this helps, a little, above all remember that you aren't alone. There are others on this forum who will also be able to help you, and I wish you and your son well.