Need some advice on exclusion within setting

Hi all.  I have two young girls going through the diagnosis process, but everyone who's seen my three year old (who this post is about) so far agrees that she is quite severely autistic (no speech, won't eat solids, behaviour problems etc etc).

 

She has attended a private nursery for a few hours a week for the last year.  They've been great with her, and she enjoys going.  She is due to move up to their pre-school section after Christmas.  I wanted to apply for her to be 'statemented' recently, but was advised to wait until she'd been in pre-school a while, even though I have visited several schools and have found 'the one'!

 

Her keyworker approached me today, and said that the nursery are doing their annual nativity play soon, in a local church, and what do I want to do about my daughter, as they think the dark echoey environment would upset her, and she wouldn't sit still.  I totally agree with this.  At first I offered to escort her, then after a bit more talking I suggested that she could simply swap her day at nursery, thus avoiding the nativity altogether.  Her keyworker said "OK, thank you".  I then spoke to another nursery worker, briefly, who said again that they thought it would be best for her if she wasn't there.  Again, I agreed.

When I got home though, I started to feel quite cross.  The key worker made out at first that they were doing her a favour, but then by saying thank you surely she thought we were doing the nursery a favour?!  Am I wrong in thinking that a)she is being excluded from an event that other children are attending, and that b)surely this would reinforce my initial feeling that she should not be attending a mainstream environment?  Am I also being a bit oversensitive about the fact the staff have obviously been discussing 'the problem'? 

Parents
  • The thing I always suggested to parents teachers etc is What is best for the child? I cetainly know that whenever we had a performance we included every child - but we also knew that at least one would not be there for the final performances. We got round that by videoing a performance which included everyone and then played that as a background and prompt for the audience so everybody was represented even at the final performances.

    Are they talking about performances or audience. Surely if it is a performed thing you could take your daughter to the performance and if she gets distressed you could take her out.

    If you think it is best for her then I would also be thankful that you have got staff that are talking about her. I found many times that no matter what 'method' you tried to convey the message someone always took away was a negative one.

    good luck Paulz

Reply
  • The thing I always suggested to parents teachers etc is What is best for the child? I cetainly know that whenever we had a performance we included every child - but we also knew that at least one would not be there for the final performances. We got round that by videoing a performance which included everyone and then played that as a background and prompt for the audience so everybody was represented even at the final performances.

    Are they talking about performances or audience. Surely if it is a performed thing you could take your daughter to the performance and if she gets distressed you could take her out.

    If you think it is best for her then I would also be thankful that you have got staff that are talking about her. I found many times that no matter what 'method' you tried to convey the message someone always took away was a negative one.

    good luck Paulz

Children
No Data